A/N: So I know I have told people that love poetry is cliché and it is, but I wanted to challenge myself to write something different. This is very rough and raw so it isn't perfect. I just wrote it about 2 minutes ago so yeah. Review at will, thank you. ---Myjaspercat
"Maybe we're afraid to love because we're afraid of not being loved back." ---Unknown
I.
My heart is beating.
I can feel it,
Not only in my chest but down
Into my toes.
The little tingly pricks
Of a burning sensation.
And though others may worry
I know I am fine,
For this is normal
When I see him.
II.
As I lay here,
I cant help but smile.
It's like he's next to me
I can see every curve of his body.
Every contour to his face,
And it illuminates my mind.
Makes me feel giddy, chidlike.
I want to reach out and touch him,
To stroke his cheek and feel
The glass like smoothness of the
Muscles underneath his skin.
But when I do,
He fades away. For he was
Never truly there.
III.
I sit here, in solitude
Head bent over this page
And I feel him,
Breathing these thoughts into me.
Helping me take this ink
And turning solid black lines,
Into scripted words.
But. As I sit here, and I write
I cant help to think that
"This is love, this what
It truly means"
And I know I am selfish and naive
For thinking that,
But I need to belive it
So I can move on with my life.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,730 Reviews
This is great! I wish I could know what love feels like so I can rate how well it is, but alas. I think it's beautiful. This got me because I am secretly a sucker for romance and poems. I was a tiny, tiny bit confused over what was going on, but I got it. Again, great, cute, adorable, a little angst-y, A+, LOVED IT!!!
adios
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it
I love this poem! Your love poetry its not enough cliche. So its good!I like how you write everything. Like how you just express everything what true love is.
No one realize what's the tire beauty of love. Everyone just thought it will be just as simply as LOVE. Remember that we all have so many different kind of meaning for love. It's hard to express everything.
It touches me just like your other poem that I review in. I feel every word you say here. Sigh. Oh how I like to read this kind of poems.
I like your title though. Your title is questioning us, the readers. And that is just so amazing and awesome! It totally connected to the poem!
So clear, so well written, so completely and so understandable! It was also relatable! I like how you describe everything here.
I like in poems are feelings. Deep meaning. Great description and of course connection. All of this I found it on your poem. The feelings were obvious since the start. So I am okay with that the deep meaning I am looking for you always express it to your poems. So you already have two check from me! Great description of the poem? Thumbs up too. Connection of the topic of the poem and the wording? Perfect to that! Bravo! If you have connection then you are a great writer. I dont also love, love poems. But if I found something so sweet I can't help myself but squeal and smile widely. I'm more into angst so yeah.
This is so perfect! Fantastic! I keep repeating myself for the hundredth times already. So enough of blabbering!
Also I almost forgot...The quote above is so right! Love it the way you put some quotes here:
"Maybe we're afraid to love because we're afraid of not being loved back." ---Unknown
Over all 10/10! You deserve this!
I almost forgot...Happy Review Day!
-ILoveBooks123
thank you i'm glad you liked the poem. I'm srry this took long to reply but i was away and i just got in. So again thank you.
Really gushy! But I love it!!! The description was perfect, as so was the way you ordered every sentence. It flowed smoothly, and completely. Agreeing with the title right now, this is truly love.
I really loved the way you described his muscles, and looks. It made him masculine, but in a feminine way. If that makes sense...
Keep it coming, and this was awesome, very awesome! I'm rambling now, so I'll say my goodbyes. But first, may you find a four-leaf clover today (or tonight depending on your time zone). Have a very nice, and beautiful day!!!
Poetry is my favorite, and I review tons of it everyday. The main thing I look for is feeling, and wording. 1) Your feelings were truly translated in this poem. They were very clear, and unless I'm mistaken anybody who reads this poem would agree. 2) Like I said earlier your wording was great, actually fantastic!!! Sorry if that was a bit overdone. I usually don't like love stories, but you made my toes tingle. <3 This was well written, and may I be the sixth to say it was awesome. I hope you make more of these as soon as you can.
~Laelle
Thank you, I'm glad you liked how I described 'him'. To me the most beautiful men aren't fully built and all that, I think they're more refined and beautiful but still strong. (if you know what I mean)
Of course I know what you mean.
Same here too! 
I found your poem to be touching and, of course, original! I often find in romantic poems that certain phrases have been repeatedly used, making the poems similar to each other. However, yours didn’t have a speck of cliché-ness (if that’s even a word). Well done for accomplishing that! It feels like a story of a girl silently falling in love because of his mannerisms/actions. She probably can’t gather the courage to confess to him for many reasons. The last stanza/verse (sorry, I don’t know much about poetry) was breathtaking. It’s beautiful and quite cute to see that the speaker finds her lost inspiration from the person she loves. I truly enjoyed reading your work. Keep writing!
Thank you. I'm glad you liked my poem.
No problem!
Heya Myjaspercat!!
This is eros here to review our poetry!!
This work is really beautiful. It is full of romantic feel and beautiful lyrics.is
I loved the saying which you have mentioned at the beginning :
"Maybe we're afraid to love because we're afraid of not being loved back." ---Unknown
It is indeed very true.
I loved the style and the way you write the poem. It is written systematically with numbering each stanza.
It was so romantic It conveys the beauty of love. It is devoted to the person you love, I guess.
The first stanza is about what happens to you when you see him.YOur heart beats increases and you gae a tingly sensation in your toes.
The second and the third stanzas says that you see his apparition sitting besides you. You think he is reall present and when you try to touch him he vanishes and you realise that it was all virtual.
I cannot see any flaw here.I loved reading your poetry and enjoyed reading it. Write more stuffs and we will read and review them
Thank you I'm glad you like it.
who are you in love with?
Hey myjaspercat,
Even though you mentioned that you think love poetry is cliched, still, yours is far from the mediocre. You managed to write love poetry that does not sound cheesy but still tickles with the emotions of the reader. And that is a good thing to have achieved with a hasty poem (as you said).
There aren't any major grammatical or punctuation errors and also it is really well-written.
Happy writing
-Ishita Dutt
thank you.
Hi dear
I like the poem. It shows the true nature of love. It reveals what basically you feel for him inside you. I see the emotions and passions inside the poem. Love drags out or completely emerges into the life. You are shy enough to tell your feelings for him. I believe you keep thinking about him all the time.
But in my opinion i guess the words could have been more better to bring out more love. You could have given some lovely memories or the explanations of the time spent with him or how he brings smike on your face. I think you should enlarge the memories here instead of only focussing on his thoughts. This is all i wanted yo say.
Apart from this i think this poem is great to read. And it brings love into life. I enjoyed it. Keep it up.
thank you. I was actually trying to aim for a love poem, where the narrator never actually spoke to the man but still knew that she loved him. If you get what I mean?