half moon bruises

Okay RBT here to review,
A really nice poem and a great hard work you have put here it seems. Now coming to the negative traits. In the first stanza you say you are ceramic and in the next stanza you say you are not. What does that mean? It makes the poem loose its taste or should i say spices?
This line seemed a bit awkward
'cut into thin cliffs and'
Why dont you revise your poem once more and look for errors. With a bit more efforts this poem be great.
You have alot of poems. KEEP GOING

Do Review My Poems Too.

REGARDS
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real deep

Hey persy <3

Hero here,

I love this. The personification is so real and explained perfectly. The Half-Moon is perfect; its purpose to the theme is right on the dot.

Imagery is amazing too. You explain it vividly which makes it jump off the page.

I just don't know about the third stanza, its a good stanza but I don't know if it fits.

Thanks Persy, for writing!

So are you a rose?

I like that the narrator has such different feelings: that makes it feel real. However, the poem bounces around too much. You do not give the reader enough time to identify with the narrator before the narrator has changed. The beginning, with the feeling of being cracked and broken like ceramics, is a wonderful analogy. The flowers, being so beautiful yet so delicate, is another great analogy. However, all of the excessive detailing and unnecessary changes subtract from the overall greatness of this story. I would play up on the beginning and end, and cut out the middle man: make the story more about being of two minds, both solid and soft, rather than being all over.

wow

'Lo Persy m'dear. Here to review.

Now, I'm a huge fan of your work. I've always watched from the sidelines though, and I don't think I've actually ever reviewed one of your pieces! Anyway.

I feel like this poem is very defeated. Now, usually I wouldn't say that's a bad thing, but I need a little more meat on this. You're telling a story, but you're not giving us anything to feel sympathy or pity for the narrator. I felt nothing for this poor person, and I think that's merely because you didn't put any details into it.
Plus, I also feel like it's very contradictory. You tell us that you have soft spots, but then you're ceramic, and then you're stone, and then you're telling us you want to be a boulder, but sometimes you're flowers, and then you're soft again because someone is digging their fingernails into you.

I honestly think the problem I have with this is that it's a lot of ideas and nothing to support them. You have one stanza devoted to being stone, but half way through you're talking about wanting to be a boulder, so it's barely sunk in that you're stone (and right before that you were soft, then ceramic) before you're talking about what you want to be.

So my suggestion is, when you edit this, is to cut down on how much you're talking about. I really like the part about being stone and sometimes being flowers, and I think the extra stuff, being ceramic and being a boulder detracts from the simplistic beauty of the really good parts. If you removed the extra stuff and built onto the other ones, it would flow smoother and I think it would end the poem nicely. Talking about what you want to be, what you really are, and then revealing at the end that you're actually really soft and breakable.

Think on it!
Love, Sparky

Well, Persy! I'm here to review for you today.

I'll start off saying I really liked this poem and it was very descriptive. However, I felt like the first line was a little bit long compared to all the others and seemed to be rather long to read out. But I liked how you showed different types of imagery like the basket of flowers and the ceramics. Overall, I really liked this and hope to read more of your poems soon.