Some nights I wonder if you even remember what I look like
as you turn away to sleep and there are no words
between us
and some nights
I ache,
I break into something small, shards of person
something like glass
and I think what’s most shameful
is the selfishness reflected
in each little wound,
the desire for something more
when there is so much already there
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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Really nice poem
It is very emotional, as if you knew exactly who you were writing about, which I guess you did. I enjoy how there was no rhyme scheme, which was refreshing since everyone rhymes their poems. They expect them to sound better, when all they are doing is making their poems sound foolish if they do not rhyme in the proper way. I'm sorry, that's just me ranting about inexperienced rhymers.
It was an alluring piece, which made me want to read more. It is a poem that can be easily related to, which is a very good aspect, as it makes the reader enjoy your poem, if they connect to it on an emotional level. The only flaw that I can find is that it is too short. I suppose that it is not a flaw because of the fact that the reason of it being short can be interpreted in many different ways (eg, it represents the short relationship that you had with this person, or it's just because you were lazy to write more. I don't want to be the annoying English teacher who tries to interpret the fact the the poet said that the curtains were blue. Again, me ranting). I would like it to be longer, just because I enjoyed reading it, and don't want it to end so soon.
A fantastic piece of poetry.
-K
Hey... I think what you've written is pretty good... But I feel it could do with being a little longer... Increasing the length would be a good idea according to me... Give it a thought..
Keep Writing..
Harshita
WAZZUUUUPPPP???
That was inapropriate.
And I apologise.
Not really........
ANYWAY!!--> I like how this poem doesn't rhyme. Sometimes the Rhyme kind of poems are really tedious and annoying.....
But I actually LIKED this, and then you go and make it as short as a chinaman's junk.
Shame on you.
It was really nice and I wanted you to make it longer.
You're a thinker and we need more of you.
Like most of the poetry (in all of the history of TIME) it was depressing, and a part of me died a little in the back of my brain......
But then again it wasn't like a pathetically depressing poem, it was insightful and I actually enjoyed it.
Just make it longer next time, I wanted to read more, and I think same goes for everybody else. Congrats!
Keep writing!
Gingerhead xx
Willow C. here, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE SAILOR MOON GREMLINS ARE EATING MY FAC-"
Whoops wrong entrance, what I meant to say is "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, The sailor moon gremlins are eating my fac-"
Hmmmmmm, same entrance, while I guess.... I apologize in advance for my personality.
Anywho, i start with the title. Its brief and relevant but it's not fun or spontaneous. You need to try just a little bit harder, I know you can.
Otherwise it's very deep and meaningful, also relatable in a wide variety of happenstances.
Keep on writing, make mistakes, and praise the llama overlords,
-Willow C.
did you just do the intro so you could meet the word req or what?
I love this poem.
It evokes a strong feeling of sadness and longing.
The last part came as delicious a surprise. The writer is not just sad about the situation. The writer is sad about being sad. They want to be happy with what they have, and can't, and then have yet another reason for anguish. There was a kind of self-awareness that seemed wise on the one hand, yet at the same time is also seemed so self-defeating.
The poem talks about glass, and it mentions reflections. I wasn't sure if they were related. Probably not, but I couldn't help thinking about the shards of glass doing the reflecting.
Thanks for sharing this one!