it was grey

The bird was not-long dead.

In fact, the small feathers
of its chest still stuttered
as the wind ran its fingers through them,
as if checking for a pulse.
It was, for a moment, almost a breath.

It was the kind of not-long dead
that left room for maybe-alive,
small eyes closed for contemplation, perhaps?
Enough not-long dead to make our hands hesitant
as we lifted its small body from the grass,
expecting, for a moment, a flurry of motion,
scrabbling claws and unfolding wings;
it was still warm in our hands.

It was the kind of not-long dead that allowed us
to silently assign a gentle-sounding name
to its gentle-looking face, the kind that left us

with a sense of ownership, almost, as we buried her
in a shoebox in a hole in the ground
in our backyard, in some part of us
that sighed without sighing.

Comments & reviews · 9
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User avatar
oldsoul
Review

Very good poem I reallly like it sweet and sentimental . I wonder were your inspiration bc its soo captivating and jus wanna knw wss it jus an oh im going to write about a dead bird . Lol but I cnt really say anything bad about this piece I really liked it .

Keep writing n ill b on the look out for more of ur pieces also ill like ur input on my worjs where were you and wait and see bc I feel like I suck as a writer n need to find sumthin else idk lackin confidence but enough about me. Great job

-oldsoulxoxo

User avatar
Void14 Comment

This is really good. Though you should capitalize and use periods and stuff. 'like this it dont look that well'

User avatar
TiffanyToy
Review

Wow!

Hello! So, first off, it seems you are very experienced at the subject of poetry! And others as so I see......===>.

Also, I can find no errors except much majestical beauty! I really love this poem and the imagery it creates in ones mind. I also love the formatting. It is very fitting for this piece in particular, y'know?

Also, I like the title. But, I don't exactly know why.....

Also, I DO understand why you put the first sentence as its own little thing. But, why that sentence? It does add more character to the poem but why that particular one? I am just curious. Also, I would like to ask,

Where does inspiration come from for something this great?

It is really good, though! Terrific job!

Keep writing!!,
~Tiff

This is really a lovely poem. The second stanza shows how it is almost like the bird could come alive if you really wished it to. You perfectly described how anyone feels when a loved one passes away. A very relatable and yet still interesting and personal poem. Well done.

User avatar
Prokaryote
Comment

Very nice, very impressive. Will use for business card.

Random avatar
chrisharley
Review

haha, going for the heart. good poem liked how you took a very relatable Idea and told it in a narrative which allowed the reader to pick up on the emotions becoming aware for the person holding the dead bird in his or her hands. It also allowed the reader to stretch it and maybe read a little further and more poetically into it maybe coming to theories of things being dead yet maybe not dead? If looked with a denial and imaginative hope. Good poem :)

User avatar
Monsters
Comment

Absolutely. beautiful.



Stay gold, Ponyboy.
— S.E. Hinton