Hello!
This was a beautifully descriptive poem, filled with emotion!
Because I read your little thing about what this poem was about, I know what it is about. But if I hadn't read that I think I might have ended up a bit confused.
Your images were just so descriptive, I could picture every one. I especially liked
Together, we’re better
even than the sky as it
stumbles behind, caught
in our blur of past and future.
The third stanza I'm not so sure about.
I feel like that second little part there is a bit awkward. But it also kind of feels like you're trying to catch up to yourself, which fits with the speed that you're trying to convey. I also don't know what to think about "console." I'm just not sure at the meaning of the word. I googled it, and there's about a million meanings for it. But since you talked about a car earlier, I imagine that's the one you're talking about. The part surrounding that word just reads as a little strange too. But I like the end of that stanza.for lunch, but not just;
I absolutely adore the last two lines of the poem. It's so beautiful.
Anything that I didn't mention, I love.
Great job, keep writing!
~fortis
Points: 4984
Reviews: 621
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