Hey there, rhiasofia! Kekai, here to review.
I can always count on you to write such interesting poems! I really love the concept that you have going on here, about the stagnancy of some things and what it would do to us (at least, that was my interpretation).
My only criticism is that at times your line breaks are very abrupt and do not flow very well. Also, it feels like you have a couple too many commas or commas in the wrong places. I would suggest rereading the poem aloud, and also just editing for grammar and the like. For example, for the first couple lines:
"Let it be for a moment,
just pretend, that
the world isn't turning" might flow better as:
"Let it be for a moment.
Just pretend that
the world isn't turning."
In all though, great job!
Keep up the good work! See you around!
Points: 4183
Reviews: 94
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