She who goes about life with eyes that smile and
a small self traipsing through the steps,
as if her life's a dance,
who has fingertips born to unfold
words and images like flowers before her,
petal by petal; and
tooth by tooth
sets smiles blossoming across faces.
She who seeks joy in happiness
leaping forth as she passes others
may almost forget the truth
behind her eyes and capering gait,
and what it will be like at home.
Her eyes flicker as she remembers, dim and
fingers twitch to hold
the hand that isn't there.
But it passes, and she brightens.
That isn't her now.
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140,213 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
I really enjoyed reading this. Very nice use of diction. It provoked me to think which is always a positive. Very nice job! For being a shorter piece, it gave me everything that i was looking for. That was quite impressive.
Wow, I am almost at a loss for words here.
Simply, remarkably stunning and mesmerizing.
I love your vocabulary here and word choice. You use words so simple like "dance", yet enhance it with "traipsing."
The imagery of the following is absolutely captivating:
This is beautiful yet strikes us with a melancholy so salty and bitter, that we all remember that feeling:
And finally, the ending.
That last line twists the whole mood of the poem and sends us into a dark room where we wonder what we have just read and are trying to comprehend this girl now, trying to understand. It gives a feeling of remorse for it suggests such a lonely sadness and the desperation of one girl to try and change herself.
Absolutely amazing. I am in awe at how this piece has moved me.
xx- Delirium
Hey Tiny here!
I only have one concern on this lovely poem for you.
The h in her should be capitalized since it is after a period.
I thought this was an utterly beautiful poem and I am looking forward to seeing more of your work
Grammar: 100%
Spelling:95%
Poem Flow: 100%
Overall: 98%
Keep writing
Thanks! I fixed that.