half the night has been lost to
my ceaseless wanderings
in and out of these poems
I promise myself
only a few, to hold my
mind in wonder through sleep
yet, here I am
the night dark, tired
eyes and half a book gone
but how my mind thrums!
as I finally begin to doze
my dreams come alive
I'm staring at the sky, Oliver
shining down at me, she's
all those glistening stars
and I lean back into a
cushioning earth, E.E. with
the flowers and birds, dirt
Poe slips over last,
the dark and shadows
that final melancholy note
so when I awake, the pencil
flies; in it's wake a master fade
of all those greats
none of my words begin
to compare, but I write them
as some letter of thanks
my tribute, each of the three
echoed in some far-off way
twining and trying
to just be something
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Hullo. Here for a quick review~
Okay, so this was lovely. It was passionate in that subtle, serene way. It was simple, yet profound. Kudos on that! I especially liked how you talk about all the great poets, and then talk about your own dreams. You compare yourself to them by not comparing yourself to them, and you're attempting to follow in their footsteps, right? There were a couple of places where your verse was a bit ambiguous, though:
While reading this, you reminded me of the quote:
Keep up the wonderful work! Keep writing!
Happy Review Day!
~Pompadour
Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked it! "a few" referred to a few poems. Thank you so much for catching that its it's mix-up, every now and again fingers slip for even the most grammar-prone. Thanks again!
As was stated in the review below, simplicity is what's in play and simplicity is the way to go. I enjoyed the poem because it does give off a lyrical 'feel' upon the minds of readers. This is good! The theme was beautiful and seems to me to be an unspoken desire or wish of every poet.
I found the voice of the poem quite humble submitting to the fact that thought talent the persona has, she refuses to acknowledge it. Honestly, as a poet when you read the works of other poet, you hit one that amazes you and you begin to wonder, ''who am I to review such beauty!'' That's what I feel; for now I clearly know that I am a novice in the machinations of different style of poetic writing.
Tend your flame!
Isha here to review again, as requested!
And wow, this one, I really liked. There isn't much here that I want to pick apart, because the poem was fairly simple, and I'm pretty sure that it's supposed to be. As an ode to the greats, a way of thanking them for being awesome (although, Poe isn't my favourite, but I don't think that's something that needs to be discussed here xD), you did absolutely excellent. I'm actually glad that you didn't clutter it with metaphors and giant strings of imagery. There are some things that require getting the point across, and that's what this did.
Which also means that this review will probably be pretty short and not too helpful, because there's not much I see that's worth picking apart.
This line:
felt a little bit cheesy? I don't know, I think it's just the "oh" and the exclamation point mixed together. Unless you're writing a narrative poem- like, something that a bard would sing in a mead hall- I hate the "oh" expression, and I generally just dislike exclamation marks.
And this bit here:
Iii have no idea what you're trying to get across here. Either 'fade' is supposed to be 'fades,' or I'm missing something, or your word choice just got really cryptic and a little sloppy all of a sudden. I'd suggest reworking it a little bit?
Other than that, though, I really liked this piece. The greats deserve a poem of thanks every now and then, and I admire the amount of sentiment that's in the piece. The imagery was just enough without being overbearing, and it was enchanting to read (A+).
Good job and keep writing,
~Ish