There's something about the catch of your breath;
it sticks, in the spots left
between the thoughts in my mind.
You linger,
not so much a thought, but a state.
Enlightenment? Perhaps, but surely
I have discerned, in the years adorned,
scintillating with your presence,
that knowing you is simply
a way of life.
For there's something about
the blush of your cheeks
as your hands brush my hair,
as my lips suffer bites,
as your eyes peruse mine,
as our thoughts collide.
We wade through those thoughts, but always
come home.
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Canary word: Present
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140,213 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
I honestly don't have much to criticize because i really liked this poem a lot
I like the flow i personally see in the poem and your descriptions, your words that you used to describe certain things. Its really nice to read something like this and have my heart leap a little at the poem as a whole 
well done and please keep writing because your good and you could get better if you keep going 
~InuRa
This was a great poem.
I put up a like.
I don't have much criticism, but I have to say that some of the commas are irrevelent. Sorry if i am being harsh.
Poems don't have to be gramatically correct.
All in all, this was a great story.
Best of luck in writing.
~InuRa
I liked this!
I'm afraid I don't have much criticism to offer. The expressions, the flow, the enjambment are all nice. Just some punctuation nitpicks :
Consider removing the commas in red. I think they're unnecessary.
Alright, thanks! I'll look back over those
Honestly l love it, it's my type of style . Continue writing
Yay!
Okay, first off so sweet. This is a lovely poem about love, and romance. While reading this my heart skipped and I held my breath.
The repetition of the word "as" had a nice soothing rhythmic effect.
I also enjoyed the uncertainty in
"You linger,
not so much a thought, but a state.
Enlightenment? "
The follow up line's certainty also has a pleasant effect like the uncertainty doesn't effect the shared feeling or the experience.
"Perhaps, but surely
I have discerned, in the years adorned,
scintillating with your presence,
that knowing you is, simply,
a way of life."
Honestly the only way you could improve this poem in my opinion is make it a bit longer. The romance was fabulous and beautiful and it made me sigh and my heart flutter.
Aww, thanks so much!
No problem, fabulous writing by the way
Okay I won't be long
I compete and share stories a lot, and the guy who helps always tells me Not to use the same words too many times.
It could bore the reader.
Please don't get me wrong your poem is good!
I really enjoyed the visual romance.
Maybe that's a bit weird, but this was really good.
Please don't get offended.
No, you're fine! I asked for criticism, after all. Yeah, sometimes repetition does magic, but I'm not sure about this either. I might end up just continuing it on with commas rather than repeating the same opening phrase. I dunno yet. Thanks for your time, I'm not offended at all