Those of us
blessed enough to be
cursed with a not
quite really full, say,
empty, yes, sort
of mind perhaps
don't care to
live out tired days
without words,
creation, to show for
the meagerness
of this existence just
content to spend them
reflecting in and out
body mirrored so as to
paint on those blank flat
eyes and smiles stare
empty after following
perfectly the instructions
on the back of the box
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140,213 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
helloooo smileis here for a review
ok , i must say that this is a great poem so creative and WELL WRITTEN .
"Those of us
blessed enough to be
cursed with a not
quite really full, say,
empty, yes, sort
of mind perhaps
don't care to
live out tired days"
this is a very good starting , so strong and unique *MY FAV.PART* also how simple the words are but strong enough .
i see that this way / technique isn't usual and i like NEW STUFF.
the shortness of the lines goes really good with this theme .
i see you didn't punctuate just the beginning so make sure to finish the whole poem.
"just
content to spend them
reflecting in and out
body mirrored so as to
paint on those blank flat
eyes and smiles stare
empty after following
perfectly the instructions
on the back of the box"
it's a very attractive way to finish a poem with , also i found mentioning the title or half of it in the end so good , that's better than starting with it , the imagery in this part was great very good touch .
9/10
GOOOD WORK
keep writing
WOW GIRL!!! This is one of my favorite poems, by anyone, ever. It was very deep, refreshing and beautiful. I loved how in the beginning you inserted comments, such as
cursed with a not
quite really full, say,
empty, yes, sort
of mind perhaps
don't care to
It is technique I haven't seen very often, and I love it. Another thing I enjoyed was how complex the writing was, I had to reread it a few times to fully grasp it. Which isn't bad, actually is very good, and I do hope you keep writing. All of you poems have been fabulous, and for those reading this read all of her poems!!!!!!! Good job and KEEP WRITING!!!
this is challenging!! one reading isn't enough..eh!
I love this kind of poem. Those poems that don't really have any punctuation or rhythm or things that people say we need on a poem. It only needs the thought and it's really good. I have a lot of poems like this that I feel discouraged to post here but I feel confident with them now.
This is really good. Good job
You should definitely post them. Rebel against the system! I HATE when people seem to think it needs to be strictly formatted with each line a complete sentence, capitalized and punctuated at the end. So boring. And if you don't already, you should read E.E. Cummings poetry, he's definitely my biggest influence. Thank you a lot, I'm glad you liked it, and I'm really happy to have instilled confidence in you
AAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!I really love this. I know that you know that the punctuation can be fixed, but the actual poem was very good.KEEP WRITING AND THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!
YAAAAAAY thanks!