Let your head lull back
it may rest on shoulder and chest,
leg and breast,
for long periods, intermittent
only by quiet inflections of breath.
Sighs riddle that resplendent realm
where we find our only relief,
that only moment of our own.
It spills over us, as the night opens
for dimness is so bright to lovers eyes
eyes open
over sheets;
they were
only dreams.
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140,866 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
The second paragraph didn't make sense to me
I really like the poem overall but the words didn't seem to go together. in the first paragraph you tried to rhyme the words but as you continued through you completely abandoned it. I think it needs some revision so it can make some more sense. look back at your structure and maybe try to figure out if you want to make it rhyme or not because right now it's confused. good luck 
Wow. This is an amazing piece of work! I love how you are able to relate to the narrator, but also add a majestic way that seems untouchable! I very much enjoyed reading this! Your work is rather amazing, I hope to read more in the future.mthe one thing I question is WHY IS THIS STILL ON THE GREEN ROOM AND NOT ON THE SPOTLIGHT? Well anyhow great concept! Have a good one!
Aww, thanks so much! Yay that's exciting, I've been working on trying to ground my poetry, so it's good to know that it's working. Haha, I wish I could tell you that. Thanks again for the nice review, much appreciated.