Young Writers Society

Whoa. This was pure edgy.

Drop here, and like a handful of my other reviews, I'm here to be harsh. Not as harsh as that one guy below, but still pretty harsh. This wasn't that good because you try to get sympathy from the readers but you do it so simply that it can't affect any of the readers. I personally felt nothing for this. Cool that you cut, I don't care. When you have poetry like this, try to make the reviewer and reader care.

thanks.

Heya!

So this poem is quite deep and from what I hear, realistic. I have never cut and I do not intend to, but to those who do, it does become a sort of addiction. It's a distraction from all the bad in your life. This poem reflects the process quite well.

Well done on that.
Keep on writing.

Hi, CaptainSaltWater! You already know me, so let's skip the introduction.
This poem seems to be getting a lot of bad reviews for some reason.
I noticed that Monsters was saying something about another poem. I didn't see a problem with taking a poem and changing it up to your own way.
Am I a fan or supporter of cutting? No, I am not. However, this poem does kind of match how people start with a few, and eventually grow to a sort of addiction to it.
I think people have pointed it out already, but the line "the addiction is not great" doesn't sound proper. If that could be tweaked, I think the poem could be read much more clearly and give the correct flow.
Even if you aren't talking about yourself, I don't see why it would be bad to write about a subject you have not participated in. If that's the case, then how come things like the poem "My Best Friend Is Gay" gained so much attention? You don't have to write about things you have done or are. It's not a law that's stated in writing. You might even be writing about a friend. It doesn't matter, writing is about expressing yourself, and there was no harm in this poem (except the literal harm... but you get what I mean).
I don't think this poem was bad, but I don't think it was "the best" so to speak either. I do see how it could seem cliche (again, a reference to Monsters review), but aren't most things cliche? In fact, a lot of writing is unoriginal.
If this was a subject you experienced or not, I think it was a decently well-written poem. A lot of these reviews seem to be kind of hateful, but I don't think it was that bad, nor should you be disappointed in yourself for writing this. You wanted to write it, and you did. In the end, it's all good. ~Prez. T

I'm sorry @CaptainSaltWater but in my honest opinion this poem is pretty horrifically bad. I don't think you are writing for yourself but for other people; you can tell because the whole poem mocks the echoes of this dying fad. It's as if you gathered cliches and mix and matched them until they resembled something pretty to read. The whole,

One cut, two cut, three cut, four,

Well, I have a few things to say. First of all, "Two --->cut<---" This right here, It's one cut for something that should be plural. "The addiction is not great" This line was a bit weak, but you did make up for it with the use of the word helve. And the line after that, "The knife 'feels' so keen." Just like the review below, this poem is in present tense. It would be an improvement if you used "feels." But other than that, this line was very cringe-worthy, which is good, because you want your audience to feel the cuts just as you do, to experience the flow of the poem.

Another thing, usually when you have a poem about cutting, it has a bit more depth to it. Anyone could write this poem, really. It's just a matter of counting and is very simplistic.

It's okay, It could be better. Next time, add a bit more emotion and feeling.

Really simplistic poem.
It gets the image across very well.
Nice use of the word helve.(not common, good job)
I like how in the beginning at four it says "a couple more" but then it quickly gets to twenty, remarkably similar to how a lot of things get out of hand quickly.
However.
Though it does not disrupt the flow of the poem, (and I'm not entirely sure right now) you have a tense problem.

the knife just felt so keen.

Hello, Captain.

Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.

I read on your wall that this isn't based off of true events and I'm grateful for that. That being said, why did you write this? The format alone feels gimmicky and seems to want people to feel sorry for this person. But it's not drawing me in.

When you write something from first person about a mental illness or behavior associated with mental illness that does not apply to you, as a person, it can become an exploitation of said behavior to get readers' attention just for the sake of attention. Now, if you wrote this just to try to empathize with people who do this, you didn't fulfill the purpose either that much because it doesn't dig deep or try to find the reason for this behavior.

Cutting is serious, and this makes it into a sick nursery rhyme. It's taking something that is terrible and trivializes it. While this is a common concept for horror in film and video games (there is something terrifying about a small child singing in the shadows), this is a real thing that happens to people, and I don't think you should increase the stigma against people who cut that they're "crazy" and such. I just don't like the messages that this is sending.

I'm not saying that you meant to send this message, but I'm asking you to be aware of the contexts of sensitive subjects when you write about them, especially if this sensitive subject does not apply to you personally.

I hope that this proves useful to you. Have a nice day.

Hey.
I'm going to say right now that I'm really not a fan of the cutting poems.
This poem specifically reminds me of another poem
As you can see, they're very similar, and I'd maybe suggest changing yours up a bit. I've seen a lot of other poems out there that are like that too. (like, there's one on this page that has the same thing, There's also this one...) As you can see, this isn't a very unique concept. At All.

One thing that the first work I lined had was a rhythm. The rhythm was the main reason why I liked that piece (for a cutting poem. I still didn't like it that much because the actual content of the work was so cliche and overused). However, yours doesn't have any hardly any rhythm.

Finally, even in some cutting poems, like the first one I linked, they were able to put some feeling into it and add some things I hadn't seen before, some imagery. This is nothing. There is no emotion in this, no imagery. It brings nothing new to the table. I don't know why you put this in the mystery/suspense genre, because it's no mystery what's going to happen.

The ending was almost comedic, but not because it was actually funny. It was so anti-climactic and void of emotion.

I know you can write a better poem than this. Don't fall prey to the cutting poetry fad. Just because they get attention doesn't mean the poems are any good.

Let me know if you have any questions, and keep writing!