What a miraculous world,
with amazing blue skies.
To as small as a snippet of grass,
to as tall as the mountain highs.
-
In the savanna of Africa,
where wild animals roam.
That big area of flat land,
to them is their home.
-
In the bustling cities of Europe,
very many things go on.
Even in the night,
until the morning dawn.
-
In the large continent of Asia,
where many people stand.
With pagodas and the Great Wall,
people say it's grand.
-
In South America,
where it's so exotic.
With all of the music and dance,
it feels so melodic.
-
In North America,
Canada, Mexico, and the U.S.A.
474,819 people,
are busy night and day.
-
Now in Australia,
home of the Kangaroo.
Seems like a beautiful place,
but it will never be better than Oahu.
-
Finally in Antarctica,
a cold and desolate place.
Not a lot of people live there,
so you will hardly see a face.
-
We all live in an amazing world.
So just be proud of it!
And let's just keep it that way,
so it will seem infinite.
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140,145 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
hey prithamrittika is here for a review. firstly I want to tell you i like the thought of the poem. i also like the name "our amazing world". you use many country to express the world. this thing i like very much. every country have different culture and every country have different taste. you show this thing in your poem. to express every country's cultural , you give a nice explanation about each country. when i read your poem i can understand about every country's cultural nicely. so i like your poem. you thought about every country's culture. the poem is really very nice.
keep writing like this......... c: c: c:
I wouldn't consider myself an expert on poetry but this is one of the best i have read, well done! It's rare to find poetry that appreciates life and doesnt rebuke our mortality so this was certainly a nice change, and i look forward to reading more. Its well thought out, detailed, i felt it flowed pretty well, and you can feel the emotion behind the words which is what poetry is about i guess, so again, well done and keep up the good work
Yep. We live in a world of wonder. It is a really nice poem. You really summed up what each continent has. The rhyming was good. Some parts of it was rough, though. Just look at it and recite it out loud to yourself and see whether it is smooth or not. I personally like reading things out loud. Try it!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
Good luck and keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very truly yours
fantasydragon01
Hi there!
I love how different this is, and you include all aspects of our world. Awesome.
Mostly, I'm just going to go stanza by stanza (or at least the ones that could use some improvement). Here we go!
The third line [that big area of flat land] doesn't seem as strong as it could be. Maybe replacing the adjective big? Or perhaps just switching it up a little to strengthen it up? I'm not sure - it just seems a little vague.
This ryhming just seems a little forced. Ease it up a bit.
Just a small error - pretty sure there are more people than this. Haha.
Uh, super forced here. And really, your poem was so good at tying everything together and you just stick another place I here to compare one to another. I suggest taking out Oahu and replacing it with something else.
You took a positive spin on things - forgot depression, pollution, and suicide but took wonderful factors of our world as a whole and put it together. Awesome job.
~ EternalRain
Thanks! And actually, I looked up the statistics for people in North America and that is what it said.
Really? 0.0 That's awfully strange...
Hey.
Yes, I liked this poem, I liked how different it was, I liked how you diverted your direction from most of the YWS poems I've read and I loved how you rhymed it all along
No technical glitches, just perfect. Might be boring for few, some may take out deep meanings, some may not and some would simply appreciate the awesome work you've done (Me! Me!)
So yeah, I'd love jamming with you someday. Cool? Cool. (sorry I made a mess outta tfios)
Good job.
Keep writing and stay blessed.
xoxo
Thank you so much!
It was kind of nice to read a poem about the beauty of the world and not the depression and bad stuff that goes on. Great job!
Hey Salty,
This is a very imaginative poem. You did very well with your imagery, and I liked how you switched between continents. The rhyming seemed forced and not very natural. It felt like you were stretching to make it rhyme. I write rhyming poetry and I tend to do this a lot. Not all poems have to rhyme, so if it doesn't feel natural you should probably just stick with non-rhyming. You stick in some details that really don't need to be included in the poem, just for the sake of rhyming. For example:
"Now in Australia,
home of the Kangaroo.
Seems like a beautiful place,
but it will never be better than Oahu."
This part of the poem especially seems forced. If you do want to stick with a rhyme scheme I would suggest finding a different detail to go here that's more relevant to your main point.
"What a miraculous world,
with amazing blue skies.
To as small as a snippet of grass,
to as tall as the mountain highs."
Here the first "to" should probably be "from" instead. This way, they're tied together more, which is what I think you're trying to do.
Overall, this is a really great poem. I love the idea behind it, and think with a little work it could be amazing.
Keep up the good work,
Joy