Young Writers Society

Straight from the beginning I could tell this was a free-form poem, no rhyme scheme. Which, in my opinion, is perfectly fine and different from most of what people imagine as poetry.
What I disliked about this was that it stated strictly obvious things. There seemed to be no meaning behind this poem, which is what poetry is really meant to do. Because of this lack of theme, lack of moral, I believe this poem, although good, was hindered in how good it could possibly be. Perhaps with an addition of this, it could be much better.

Hello, Captain. Happy Review Day!
So... Lets take a look at those nitpicks

Land is where we dwell,
it is very green.
It grows, and grows,
so it looks very clean.

A giant green and blue ball,
located in space.
A planet name Earth,
home of the human race.

Hi Dear CaptainSaltWater!!

THis is Eros here!!

I read your poetry "Earth". It is a beautiful poem composed on our mother Earth.

The first stanza is all about location of the Earth and how is the Earth. It is a blue ball located in th space. It also tells us that Earh is a place whre all the people live or we can say that Earth is a place where life exists.

The second stanza is about the inside of Earth. Here is land inside the Earth and on the land life exists. It says that land is green with the trees and grass and it grows making it look clean.

The third stanza is about Water--a precious resource in the Earth. It is described that it runs through the Oceans and Lakes and Streams.

I loved the last line of the poem:

"One amazing thing our Earth does,
is hold abundant dreams."

Overall your poem is written beautifully. It expresses a simple Idea in a unique way. This is the main reason of why I loved it. Moreover the language of your poem is easy to understand.So this is another reason of loving your poem.
You are doing great!
Keep writing CaptainSaltWater!
We love to read your stuff!

xJ to the rescue! Hello, CaptainSaltWater.

Firstly, I like your style. You may need to work on your flow but you do get your point across. At the beginning I wish you would've used a different word that "ball". Perhaps "sphere," would do nicely. And on the 3rd line of the 1st stanza you made a minor spelling error: "name" should've had a "d" on the end. And on the 2nd line of the 2nd stanza as well as the 4th line "It is very green" isn't the strongest of lines as well as line 4 of stanza 2, "So it looks very clean." Try to write with better words than "very green." or "very clean."

But I must say you nailed the ending on the last stanza. "Hold abundant dreams" is my favorite line of this poem. Not bad, try to improve. ^.^

May your travels through space and time be merry,

-xJ

Hi, unknown391625! Wisegirl22 here. Happy Review Day!

First of all, I recommend using some more vivid descriptions. This one is so cliche.

"A giant green and blue ball,"

How about, "A prodigious mass of blue and green,"? Hope I'm not being too bossy/picky.

I think this is a typo. A D after "name", please.

"A planet name Earth,"

Okay, this stanza wasn't too good. These two lines were bad.

"it is very green."

"so it looks very clean."

Please think of another two lines to replace these.

The first and third stanzas were awesome, though, and it really described Earth. This was blunt, so try to use more vivid description and less telling.

Hope this helps,
Wisegirl22

Aynonoumous!!!! Probably spelled that wrong, but anyways I like your poem. The message behind it is what I like about it, the world is a beautiful place. However, the one thing I'd like to point out is that the world isn't always a clean place. It can be dirty, and smelly, and just plain nasty at times. It's what's beneath all that dirt and grime that makes the world beautiful. Another thing I don't like is your last sentence. The fact that earth is home to all these life forms alone is amazing feat, since you stated this up top it seems kinda weird to say "One amazing thing our Earth does, is hold abundant dreams." It seems like it's starting something rather than ending it. Don't get me wrong this is good for someone your age, and you have a lot of potential. So don't give up!!! Looking forward to watching you grow!!!! =^_^=

Hey, Writer here!

So this poem is on point. You describe the Earth, what's on it, etc. etc.
I'll go through nitpicks and then what can be worked on.
Let's started, shall we?

Nitpicks!

Land is where we dwell,

it is very green.

It grows, and grows,

so it looks very clean.

Water runs throughout oceans,

it flows through lakes and streams.

One amazing thing our Earth does,

is hold abundant dreams.

Hey!

This is a very simple poem with basic imagery. Due to the simplicity of the language used and imagery, the image portrayed of the earth is not very hooking and intriguing. In order to arrange this I advice you to induce more literal techniques in your poem and more complex adjectives.

I liked the sense of rhyme of the poem. There is only one fault in the rhyme scheme which is in the last stanza, the verse before the last. Maybe you should alter the last word.

Apart from that I think that this poem is actually great to be a children's poem. This is because it is educational and makes children appreciate more our planet. Apart from that with its simple format it is easily understood by readers of a younger age.

Great job

Hey, Chips here with a review.

I liked the focus you kept with each stanza and the simplicity you expressed the Earth in.

However my main issue with this is that, as much a the simplicity was was nice, it would have been even better if you added something more interesting that stands out, more creative imagery and metaphors. Your intention may have been keeping things simple which is fine but the poem didn't build much momentum as it went along everything stayed at the same level which doesn't always capture the reader or make it memorable. The Earth has many concepts to look at and It seems you took the physicality of the Earth's structure, which is good too.

So, I have a few suggestions which may be of help to you.


"A giant green and blue ball,

located in space.

A planet name Earth,

home of the human race."

I liked the minimal rhyme scheme here, though it worked in some stanzas. In the first line here, I think you could have included more vivid imagery than describing the Earth as, "A giant green and blue ball", it was kind of stating the obvious.


"Land is where we dwell,

it is very green."

Here, you've repeated green already in the previous stanza, perhaps a more interesting shade of color. Since here the concept of "Land" is brought out, you could also elaborate on it and creatures/nature too as your poem is looking at the Earth in the physical geography aspect.

"Water runs throughout oceans,

it flows through lakes and streams."

Here, again it was more just telling what is already known perhaps expressing it using more poetic devices?

"One amazing thing our Earth does,

is hold abundant dreams."

This was my favorite line, it began to create a real sense of emotion and stir away from the pure geographic aspect of the Earth, because ultimately the Earth is more than a planet it holds so much more, it holds life and "dreams".


Overall nice poem. Hope this review helped. Keep writing!

--Chippy

It's sweet

Very bare minimum and full of simplicity. Which is sometimes a good thing, but this doesn't really paint an interesting or grasping picture. That being said, the last line about abundant dreams is a very nice line and sort of touching. If looking to expand maybe touch on that a little bit more, gives the whole thing a little more substance. I'm not really sure the theme of the poem over all though?

I'm sorry, It's very nice for the surface level it sits on. I just think it's too light.

What a beautiful poem! I love your use of imagery here; you do a great job at painting a picture for me. The tone is light and uplifting, which is great! I like the feel of this poem, you do a really good job.

One part I would maybe advise taking a look at is the second stanza. Your final stanza is by far your best; you have great imagery, word choice, and your ending line is killer. But, I feel your second stanza is lacking just a little bit. After reading the third stanza I know that you could write something just a bit more compelling to match the majesty of the final sentences. I know you want to rhyme something with green, but ending the stanza with "so it looks very clean" just seems to bring down the eloquence that the piece was formerly riding on.

This really was a great poem. You obviously have a flare for writing, and I really hope you keep popping out more amazing work! Keep it up!