A Summer Song

You did a great job making your reader visualize the beach and summer time. I enjoyed that very much. I think that it couldn't hurt to add in a few more lines. Making it longer never hurts. The rhyme scheme was good, and I think the pattern of syllables was fine. It could go through some editing, and make it a little better. I think you did fine, but there is always room for improvement.

We had a day of fun,
at the lake’s bay.
We will never forget,
that hot summer day.
...This is for English by the way.
Did you realise that you rhymed? Made me giggle. :p

Your poem is practically perfect the way it is. So to create a review I'll just say random things.

We swam at the bay of the lake,
and stayed up all night.
Telling ghost stories,
that gave us a fright.
This was my favourite stanza. Ghost stories are fun and definitely something that everyone can relate to.

Having fun
at the beach we have always played.
Do you play the beach? You can play at the beach. This isn't a nitpick because I understand what the line means and you've got the poetic license.
However, if it was my poem I would change the line to: At the beach where we've always played.

There you go, Captain. I tried to write a decent review...

I basically just edited it


In the hot summer day,

we sipped on lemonade.

Having fun, at the beach we always played.

-

We swam at the bay of the lake,

and stayed up all night.

Telling ghost stories,

that gave us a fright.

-

We had a day of fun,

at the lake’s bay.

We will never forget, that hot summer day.

Hey Captain! Teddy here for a review.

This was very short and simple, but I really enjoyed it. It's a typical day during the summer for most people.

The one thing I don't understand is that you say beach in the first stanza and the lake in the other two. I'm not sure if it's meant to be two different days or not, but it just confused me a little.

I'm not seeing anything wrong with your grammar. *finger dance!*

Anyway, good job and keep writing.

Hello, CaptainSaltWater! I'm emeraldfox, here to review your work. I'm representing team Blue's Clues this review day!

I liked this poem. It was lighthearted and fun and it brought back some great summer memories. You had some excellent imagery that used many different senses, not just sight.Your rhymes worked nicely and didn't seem forced or stretched. You used punctuation well. This poem ahd a pretty steady and easy-to-follow meter, as well.

As far as formatting goes, There is a way to create spaces between your stanzas without using a period. When you are typing within a stanza and just moving to the next line, not a new stanza, press SHIFT + ENTER. This will single-space the lines. When you want a new stanza, just press ENTER. This will double-space your lines (as they are now). I know formatting on YWS is tricky, so I hope this helps.

The only thing I didn't quite understand in your poem was "lake's bay" and "bay of the lake". A lake and a bay are two separate and distinct bodies of water. You can't have a bay as part of a lake. Did you mean shore of the lake?

Other than that misuse of words, I liked this poem. It brought back some great memories of my favorite season! Nice job.

This is for English by the way.