Blank Canvas

by rainforest

Published December 29, 2014

E - Everyone

In Archive

A blank canvas,

must be fulfilled.

Created by an artist,

so dedicated and so willed.

-

Anything can be made,

it doesn't have to be elaborate!

Make it how you want!

You can even collaborate!

-

From one paint stroke

to the next.

Think of ideas as you go on,

and then you can annex!

-

When it is all finished,

you can be proud.

Show it off,

then bow to the crowd!

Comments & reviews · 7
User avatar
BeTheChange
Review
BeTheChange wrote a review Review · May 19, 2017

I liked the message of this piece, but it could have been executed better.
1. The rhyme seemed just a little forced.
2. My main problem is the bolded words. They could have been in the same font as the rest of the poem, and it would have honestly been better for it.

I don't mean to seem harsh; the idea was really good! Keep writing!

User avatar
BlueSunset
Review
BlueSunset wrote a review Review · Jun 13, 2015

Hey, CaptainSalty! I am here to review.
Let's start with the nitpicks. As I just ran over this poem one more time, I stumbled on this stanza:

From one paint stroke
to the next.
Think of ideas as you go on,
and then you can annex!

Your rhythm kind of dropped here. I think some of the lines were longer than "to the next", which broke the pace and beat of this. I love the use of vocabulary, though.

Your idea for the ending was perfect! It felt both like it was the ending of a show and an ending of a poem. They were combined perfectly together, Captain. Great job. :D
I never would of thought of putting a bold word in each line. Because it was also in italic, the bold words really felt emphasized. ;) That's a great plus. ;)
You've written a lot of poems, I see. This one is great because it says something. You know what I mean?

Anyways, I think that this was actually pretty good. The length is nice - you don't have to read too much, but it still isn't too short. I hope you write more poems in the future, @CaptainSaltWater! :D

~ Sunset101

User avatar
erilea
Review
erilea wrote a review Review · Jan 2, 2015

Hey, unknown! You wanted me to review, so here I am!

So, I enjoyed reading this rhyming poem. At first, the rhyme scheme was a bit off, but eventually it grew better. The few things I need to comment on are random words are bolded throughout the poem, which I am against. It takes my attention away from the actual poem and my review, and so does the italics. The lines are short and choppy, but they are alright, if that's what you have to do to rhyme. :D The most strange rhyme, is the elaborate-collaborate one. I have to admit, that one was creative, but it was strange, and was not as good as the others. The last stanza was a nice wrap-up. I liked this poem, although it was a bit weird. But in a good way! :) So, good job, overall I would rate it 8/10--a little improvement wouldn't harm. See ya' soon with that ballpoint pen!

-wisegirl22

User avatar
nadair
Review
nadair wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2014

I'm not going to lie, I didn't think that I was going to love this one. Mainly because of the rhyme scheme, I was slightly turned off to this poem from the beginning. But of course, I gave it a chance, and decided that the rhyme was just enough playfulness to match the topic of the poem.

I enjoyed reading this one, and look forward to reading some more from you.

I do agree that maybe you should journey into prose as some of the comments below mention.

Keep it up!

User avatar
EndlessPest
Review
EndlessPest wrote a review Review · Dec 29, 2014

I really enjoyed reading this.

Thanks for sharing, I found it motivating and inspirational.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

The rhyme scheme was interesting and works well in the close of the last stanza.

I agree with the previous comment that it would be great to see more emotive imagery, plenty more to come I hope.

theironnovelist wrote a review Review · Dec 29, 2014

hey there! I'll just review this quick here...cuz i can.

at first i wasn't a big fan of the rhyme scheme, but as I read on I saw it wrapped up nicely. I especially liked your last stanza. It made a nice finale to a sweet little poem about the process of a piece of art coming to life.
However, I would have liked to see just that-- more life. More imagery, more dimensions to the poem. It's pretty straight-forward, which isn't all bad. You are telling a story, in fact. But don't be afraid to take a little twist...show some creativity. You're writing about an artist, so show us some cool artistry! Experiment with it. I'll be eager to see what you come up with.

User avatar
Chanta1234
Review
Chanta1234 wrote a review Review · Dec 29, 2014

Hello, since you were really desperate for a review well here is one right here. Well first I love your poem it really fulfills the place of an artist and what pictures they try to paint and how they are proud of their work. A question are you an artist your self or do you want to be a artist or do you like artist? Well I guess those were three questions. Now to criticize to me there is nothing really to criticize about.It was great and I really think you should write more and move to books and novels get aboard the train and see where it goes.
~Chanta~

Thanks! Yes, I am an artist. And I think you are right about me moving on to writing more books and novels.

your welcome and I think I am also and you should read my book i'll send u a link



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