Love Forever

Hi Dear CaptainSaltWater!!

This is Eros here!

I loved reading your poem " Love Forever ". It was beautifully written -- in a very beautiful style. I love your style of writing. It captures my heart. This one is very romantic poem. I love to read romantic poems. They touch our heart.

You have a talent and art to write wonderfull poetry. Hats off to your beautiful work. I appreciate the poem. Continue writing....And we will continue loving them

Hello unknown391625!

I like this poem, although something about it made me think something was going to go extremely wrong; Doesn't seem to have though. I like how you expressed all the emotions. I couldn't find any errors, but I do think that the rhyme at the end looks a little forced. It is a great poem though, and you don't have to change anything. I also like how you included how she was in tears after her ex rejected her, before you asked her out. It seems like it would be real, a classic love affair.

~Kelpies.

Something to keep in mind when writing poems that rhyme on the last word every other sentence (broken;spoken, greatly;ornately, etc) is that they will flow easier if the words have the same number of syllables. "You want her so bad" isn't necessarily a bad line, but it feels to me that she's being objectified - maybe try something a bit deeper like "You need her so bad" next time. I appreciate that you didn't write "joy" over and over, that would have made it bland. Something to pay attention to when writing poetry is finding synonyms, and you did a good job of that here. In summary, it made me smile and is good, but could use some polishing, as could anything else.

Hey, yo, unknown391625! Strangelove here and I have a review for you!
I saw this when it was still in the Green Room, and I meant to review it, but it got out of the Green Room and into the spotlight. Since it seemed to have been popular, I pushed myself to review it and here I am today!
To start it off on a not so happy note, this had quite some problems. Unlike some people, I would call these cop outs. You could of taken other routes that wouldn't have been bad, but instead it went down the wrong path. I'm not saying that this is a horrible piece of crap poem, but it could be a lot better if you were to work on it. Saying that, you had some good things in this. The language was good for the most part, as it got muddled. It flowed for 90% of the poem.
You use the word ornately. That is a cop out. I understand when one is desperate for a rhyme they'll go for any word they can, but ornately? Really? I've only heard that word once, probably most people don't use it. You repeated a few lines twice which could of been avoided but wasn't. Also, NI hate to say it, the ending wasn't that good. It was a huge cop out. It felt like it had no build up at all,
Otherwise, good job.

Good job,
keep writing,
stay groovy, my friend.`

This is one of those poems that makes me smile and have that "Aww" moment. It's beautiful, and I love that it's not too long and that it's just a short poem about love. While reading it I felt like I didn't need to read more or have more text in it. Because these sweet words where enough.

Keep up the good work!
- BlueShark

I just realised this is already in the literary spotlight, congrats

jack here for a quick review.

This is one of the first poems I have ever read that is about love, marriage etc. But I really enjoyed it, it was quirky and different and I like that. There wasn't anything really to fix, so I am just going to leave you with a heap of compliments on the story, I hope tat is ok.

Firstly reading through this poem, whist it doesn't really tell the back story, or what is happening around, I can feel myself really imagining it, I feel like there is a giant trailer playing in my head, and I get that from your poem.

I guess that is sought of hard to explain what I am trying to say, but anyway if you get what I mean good, if you don't, just get out of that, you poem is awesome! I hope that makes sense like it does in my head.

Also reading through I felt the whole time the ending something bad was going to happen, she would break up with him or something. But for once, a poem left me with a content smile and not a sad face, whishing that I didn't read it, even though it was good, it left me in a sour mood. And you didn't to that, so great job, because I loved it:).

So overall I really want to read more of your work, and this was a excellent piece, and I would be surprised if this didn't make it do that literary spotlight because I really deserved it. So a like from me, and thanks for sharing this with me.

Thumbs up!!

Jack

Hi!
This is a very whimsical poem, about a beautiful love story. Only if life was really like this, right? This poems flows very well, and creates a great picture in the reader's head. I didn't find the ending very fulfilling though. I love the line up until judgement day, but after that I think it goes down hill. Maybe end the poem there or tell us what happened on judgement day? I guess I really just don't like nor understand the line "and love they may"; it just doesn't seem to do the ending any justice.

Keep up the great work!
xoxo,
Rascalover