Overcoming reality,
is very hard to do.
There are so many obstacles in life,
they are very hard to get through.
-
I want something different,
something magical.
Something amazing,
and not so tragical.
-
We can create a fantasy land,
where everything can be new!
The sky can be green,
and the grass can be blue!
-
There can be animals,
and even creatures!
You can even make them new,
by giving them different features.
-
Too bad that can't happen,
we only have imagination.
And if we imagine hard enough,
we can create a nation.
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140,145 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
I see rhyming poems are your specialty.
Bingo!
Hey, Viv here to try and do a review.
Great poem, I loved it. It just kept the topic of hope and creation in mind, even in the last stanza. So I only see one mistake which I'm guessing is a typo. Here it is: "You can even make then new," I believe the "then" should be "them." Other than that this poem is perfect.
Oh my gosh! Thanks for realizing that! I fixed it right away.
I pressed the like button because of happy ending. It made me 'feel-good'
Hi there!
I really loved this! Your poem made me really happy reading it. I thought your rhymes were very good. They painted pictures in my head that reminded me of being a little kid imagining all the different kind of worlds there could be. (I still do that even now)
In my opinion the only thing I thought could be better is the exclamation points. In the third stanza you used exclamation points on the second and fourth lines, but in the fourth stanza you only used one on the second line. I like the use of exclamation points I just perhaps would have changed the period to an exclamation point on the fourth line of the fourth stanza to make things more uniform.
Overall I'm in love with it. The second stanza is my favorite. I think it describes how most people, especially the creative ones, feel in this world. I can't wait to read more of your work!
Dude that's veryyy goood.I like how you used your rhymes..is this your first attempt on writting or not?If not i would like to see more of your pieces!It's great to find people with your writting style and likings..please feel free to check out my work and tell me if you would like something different or better ^_^. Thumbs up.Keep up the good work!!
Thank you! I have wrote more poems actually!
I am off to read em now..
I love this! It gives you a whole different perspective on the world. I love how descriptive you were! I love when you say, "The sky could be green and the grass could be blue". That is definitely my favorite part of the poem.
Your opening and closing statements were perfect. The beginning drew me in and the ending perfectly closed up the writing. You are really talented.
I think everyone has a wish that they could overcome reality; especially me. I always have visions in my head of stuff like this. I have a novel in my portfolio that talks about me going to college when I am older. Its what I vision and it just kind of reminds me of this. If only everything you dreamed for would come true. But then life would be to easy.
Well anyways, I love this poem. It is truly inspirational! I can't wait to read more of your work! I wish I could write poetry like this! Keep up the good work!
P.S Can you go read my work? I would love to hear what you have to say about my writing! I think you and I could relate from this poem of yours and my chapter from my story.
Alex <3
Oh my gosh! Thank you! This really made my day!
Well I am glad that I made your day!
Nice work.
Thank you!