Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General

E - Everyone

Sully - Part four of SMSU Poetry

by DeerInBacPac


So, I guess the world has been dethroned,

Underneath the layers of unknown,

Layers of friends to be found.

Light, Dark, Health. 

You three are the brightness in this world, while I feel like the hoarded wealth. 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
58 Reviews


Points: 199
Reviews: 58

Donate
Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:33 pm
IzzyIsHappy wrote a review...



Hi Izzy here for a second review cause the other one accidently got deleted (oops)

I think this is awesome what you are doing with your characters and how you are making them more...human.

This is a good poem about Sully and who he is and how he needs his friends...

Yes? No? Maybe?

I haven't even got to chapter three yet in SMSU

Don't kill me.

Okay I have to go take another test on EAP now!


Izzy




DeerInBacPac says...


Yup.



User avatar
58 Reviews


Points: 199
Reviews: 58

Donate
Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:26 pm
IzzyIsHappy says...






User avatar
364 Reviews


Points: 15980
Reviews: 364

Donate
Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:24 pm
zaminami wrote a review...



Hello Flumadiddle! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

Spoiler! :
So, I guess the world has been dethroned,

Underneath the layers of unknown,

Lays that of friends to be found. {Wut}

Light, {d}ark, {h}ealth.

You three are the brightness in this world, while I feel like the hoarded wealth.


My interpretation:



This doesn't need an interpretation :P

Overall:



Cute poem about Sully. It really shows a lot about his character. What I would recommend would be to add this into the book somehow. That would really hit the readers hard :P Keep up the great work!

Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --

Kara

Image


This review courtesy of
Image




DeerInBacPac says...


YESSSS YESSSSSSSS
YOU ARE A GENIUS



User avatar
206 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 206

Donate
Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:15 pm
DeerInBacPac says...



@DemonGoddess @LordTachanka @Saruka @woahhitherepal @DarkPandemonium @Steggy @WhosabellCanWrite





The words you speak become the house you live in.
— Hafiz