The bullets whizz by,
A man screams in agony.
MEDIC! MEDIC!
The words echo through my ears.
That would be me.
---
Blood coats my arm,
A bullet lays upon the ground.
Stop the blood,
Add sulfa.
Maybe plasma.
Wrap in cloth.
Onto the next.
---
Shrapnel,
Bullets,
Burns and bruises.
---
Stop the crying,
The friend is gone.
---
Stop the bleeding,
Add sulfa.
Maybe plasma.
Wrap in cloth.
Time for bed.
---
The night is crisp,
But no one knows,
Besides the others,
What its like to be Doc.
---
The years have passed,
My daughter has grown,
And the memories flash through the unknown.
__
I am Doc.
I am the Medic.
I am Warren E. Reddig.
AN// This was a poem that I have written for my Paw/Great-Grandfather. He was a medic in WWII and I sadly never got to meet him. I enjoyed writing this, and hope you guys like it too.
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139,785 Literary Works • 672,766 Reviews
Aww! This was amazing! Fluma, if your great grandfather was still alive, I'm sure that he would be proud of you for honoring his memory! Like you, I never got to meet my great grandfather, he had died of Parkinson's disease in 1999, and I born in 2004. Everyone says he was a great man, but I wouldn't know that. Fun fact, his parents are Czechoslovakian, making me that as well. Dear god that's hard to spell...ha! Anyway, I loved this, I hope you keep making more of these amazing poems, which I know you will!XD
Great job Fluma!:)
Thank you!
wow.....this is great dude! You know I've always liked your work, but each time I read another piece I am blown out of the water! This was heart-wrenching and you know thats the stuff i like. i like the stuff that truly makes you feel. i am sorry your great-grandfather had to go through that. it truly was an inhumane time. my great-grandmother was a wasp and if you know what that means, then you know why I'm honored she was in my family. i really loved this, especially because i can relate because of her. keep up the good work my friend!
Thank you!
This is a very beautiful composition that I'm sure your grandfather would have been honored to accept as a gift. It conveys the urgency of the war environment and the demands that it made on those who had to offer medical attention during such daunting circumstances. Very nice conclusion as well. Like the part about memories flashing through the unknown as if the grandfather senses that his life will be remembered by some unknown descendent.
The word "lays" was a little distracting since "lies" is used in standard English.
http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/lay?s=t
Thank you!
hello E, Adrian here for a review.
okay i just want to say, first and foremost this is an extremely interesting poem. i find it impressive that you wrote from another persons point of view that, im guessing its safe to assume, you have no experience in?
ahh i dont know theres so many impressive parts of this poem and im so glad you shared it!
now as for actual review
"A man screams in agony. " i feel like the word "And" should go before "A" just for flow problems.
otherwise i dont see anything else, someone else may though.
i would go into the meaning but i feel like its quite obvious. especially with the addition of the
AN.
but yeah great poem, i really enjoyed reading it as per usual. please keep up the great work my pal.
have a great day and hAPPY HOLIDAYS!
>Adrian
oh and something i forgot to mention is that im sorry for you loss my pal
OKAY lets clarify the fact I have never met him. Secondly, thank you! I am a WWII nerd so, yeah. I know the most about the medics.
Wow... This sent chills down my spine! So cool! And I love that you wrote it for a family member, especially one you've never met. (I just love stories like this in general)
I really only have a couple comments:
- I didn't quite understand the voice switch from the first and second sections. In the first part, it seems a man is calling to the author, asking for a medic, but then in the second part, the author is lying wounded. It's just not making sense to me. Maybe clear that up.
- The 2nd to last stanza/section felt a bit too abrupt. I would suggest either adding another section, or giving that section a little more of an eerie feel. Doesn't have to be depressing, but I could see something about remembering people's faces or sounds during the war. Something sensory that brings the reader back to the place, as if in his flashback.
Overall, I think this is really good. Definitely draws the reader into a historical setting and gives them at least a little taste of war. Fabulous job!
-AJ
okay, when his blood is coated in blood and such, it says onto the next. He is taking care of the wounded.
And thank you!
Ohh, i gotcha now. That just totally breezed by my poor little brain. xD
No problem! Happens to the best of us!
♡
Thank you!
@Dreamworx95 @DemonGoddess @LordTachanka @woahhitherepal @WhosabellCanWrite @TheBlueCat @LittleLee
What does Paw mean?
But... I'm very sorry for your loss.
Paw was what my great grandfather was called.
Oh... I'm so sorry. %u2661%u2661
Oh... I'm so sorry. %u2661%u2661
No its fine. Really.