Sully - Part four of SMSU Poetry

by DeerInBacPac

Published November 17, 2017

E - Everyone

In ...

So, I guess the world has been dethroned,

Underneath the layers of unknown,

Layers of friends to be found.

Light, Dark, Health. 

You three are the brightness in this world, while I feel like the hoarded wealth. 

Comments & reviews · 4
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IzzyIsHappy
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IzzyIsHappy wrote a review Review · Nov 17, 2017

Hi Izzy here for a second review cause the other one accidently got deleted (oops)

I think this is awesome what you are doing with your characters and how you are making them more...human.

This is a good poem about Sully and who he is and how he needs his friends...

Yes? No? Maybe?

I haven't even got to chapter three yet in SMSU

Don't kill me.

Okay I have to go take another test on EAP now!


Izzy

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IzzyIsHappy
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IzzyIsHappy commented Comment · Nov 17, 2017

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zaminami
Review
zaminami wrote a review Review · Nov 17, 2017

Hello Flumadiddle! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

Spoiler
So, I guess the world has been dethroned,

Underneath the layers of unknown,

Lays that of friends to be found. {Wut}

Light, {d}ark, {h}ealth.

You three are the brightness in this world, while I feel like the hoarded wealth.


My interpretation:



This doesn't need an interpretation :P

Overall:



Cute poem about Sully. It really shows a lot about his character. What I would recommend would be to add this into the book somehow. That would really hit the readers hard :P Keep up the great work!

Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --

Kara

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YESSSS YESSSSSSSS
YOU ARE A GENIUS

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DeerInBacPac
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DeerInBacPac commented Comment · Nov 17, 2017

@DemonGoddess @LordTachanka @Saruka @woahhitherepal @DarkPandemonium @Steggy @WhosabellCanWrite



I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good... then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness.
— Leo Tolstoy