Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
A/N - I don't really do the whole, New Years resolution thing, I just don't see the purpose in it when a year could be whenever for you and you can start that resolution whenever you pleaded but, hey, here's my poem on the one I was forced to make during school! Also, I did this really quickly, so mind the... gaps.
I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE F-WORD IS USED IN THE POEM, PLEASE CONTINUE.
Self-doubt.
Being allowed breath, then be resubmerge.
Dark, dirty, foggy water.
That is what is seen, that is what it is,
Self-doubt.
---
It likes the night, when things are normally calm.
The quiet, peaceful atmosphere,
Then a quick, sudden move and things go down hill,
A hill filled with snow and words left unsaid.
Words that hurt you.
Maybe some rocks hidden in snowballs too.
---
I can't take this anymore,
My own words effecting me,
Making me see myself in ways I should never.
The constant pain I put into others, the worry.
I am done with it.
---
New Years resolution?
This should have been done fucking months ago,
The water should have been cleaned.
The hill renewed by spring.
So now, lets get it done.
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139,785 Literary Works • 672,766 Reviews
Hey, I really like this!
It's an interesting idea to take something very common we all throw around this time of year and turn it into an artistic and attention grabbing literary work!
The format was easy to follow and it flowed well.
You were descriptive artistic and you definitely got my attention. I can feel the emotions behind this peace, it's somehow depressing and motivating at the same time. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but it worked. XD
On a more personal note; This poem actually perfectly describes what I went through a few years ago. I had the same thoughts you just expressed nearly perfectly. Putting any grammatical errors or anything else completely aside, this was really, really, good. I did't have a way to express those thoughts, but you have just suceeded in doing so, and I hope you suceed in fulfilling the resolutions that you made. I was able do it, thankfully, and I hope the same for you. <3
Thank you! And yeah, more of a motivational piece ((I can never spell this)) but I geuss both work!
If your work contains language, all you need to do is click on the edit button, and go to the second step of publishing your poem, past the type of poem it is and it’s genre and everything. At the bottom of the page the ratings, and since the f-word is used, I’d recommend that you put 18+, for “strong language.” That way, you don’t need the bold warning at the beginning of the poem; people will already know it’s a more mature poem.
could be interpreted as either ”Being allowed to breathe,” or “then be resumerged.” That line distracted me a little from the rest of the poem.That said, I figure I’ll give you a review in compensation if you actually read all that XD.
Overall, your poem has a clear message, to me at least. The thing is though that the last stanza makes me think you’re kind of talking about what a resolution is - the idea that you can keep trying to fix things, since it’s “re-solution.” In this sense, you’re declaring that you need to face your self-doubt and believe in yourself, which is similar to the idea of starting anew, but if you don’t see that, then that’s perfectly fine.
In addition, I’d recommend you check over this poem, and read it aloud. There’s a couple spelling errors, including the second line, since
Also, I will say that you don’t need a type of punctuation at every line - some of the lines seem to connect together but the constant periods or commas end up distracting me and reading them individual. By taking away even a couple of the commas, your poem could flow better from line to line, not just end every time the new line begins.
All in all, this is pretty decent for an assignment for school, but I’d love to see you edit this a little and see where this poem can take you, outside of turning it in for credit. Hope this helped!
Umm, its based on what my resoltion was. Its not for school.
Oh sorry XD. Guess I didn%u2019t understand your author%u2019s note lol
Its ok!
I am exactly the same! You could make resolutions on any day of the year, it doesn’t have to be on New Year’s Day. It’s not like if you do it on a different day you won’t be able to keep to it.
I notice you used f****** at the end of this but that wasn’t mentioned in the title? Maybe rate it 13+ just in case.
Keep up the good work!
OH SHIT sorry!
It%u2019s OK!
I dunno what that %u2019 thing was
I dunno either. It happens sometimes.
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