Fears.
Small monsters,
With tiny teeth and no eyes.
Dry skin and fingers with no nails.
---
The worst ones are the smallest.
Hardly seen, until they grow.
Eating at your brain, until you can't take anymore.
---
I guess the dark is one.
A childish one, but for others,
It is a living nightmare.
Strangers who follow and watch, unseen.
Or being alone, unable to feel safe.
---
Some are bone-rattling.
The fear of leaving the one you love,
Crying and wanting their shoulder,
But they aren't there.
Of needing them but they can't talk,
Even if you would die to hear them.
---
No fear is childish,
Even a shark in the swimming pool.
A fear is what we can't deal with,
A thing of our greatest doubts,
Our greatest worries and troubles from others.
A fear is that which we regret the most, even if it's twisted, like licorice.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,456 Literary Works • 672,568 Reviews
I remember when I used to be so afraid of the dark when I was like 5, now that I look back at it, I find it so adorable. But you described some of the many fears we all have as children, describing where they hide, what they are, and I thought that was really creative. As far as I'm concerned, you did wonderfully Fluma. And I'm sorry if I hadn't responded to anything of yours or did reviews over Christmas, I was reading a book that is my newest obsession and I watching the seasons of it, and the watching Youtube, like I usually do. But anywho, keep up the califraciousexpialidocious work! I know the word, I just forgot part of it. I've never really watched or liked Mary Poppins!XD
*looks down* I am still scared of the dark...
*Looks at time* 12:43 AM
Fuck why dose she have to be asleep!?!?
I could just ask her for points!
*looks up at ceiling*
GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!
Anyway here I am doing a review because I’m in desperate need of points. So keep in mind I’m only doing this because I have to
So overall I love the poem. Fears suck they really do! Wether big or small all fears matter in my book.
Flow: The flow is....interesting. I’m not saying it’s bad it’s just seems like it’s supposed to be read really slow and kinda gives of a forlorn vibe with I think is what you were going for. And good news you’ve accomplished that!
Grammar and mistakes: umm you know I’m not the greatest at this but I didn’t really notice anything other than I’m a little curious/confused to why a couple of words are bolded.
My thoughts and opinions: I really liked the poem it was really well written and I think it would be a good canadaite for a sequel poem like maybe about concouring your fears. Anyway I really liked the poem keep up the great you hon I LOVE YOU!
Hey EE! Izzy here for a review!
I have read this like three times, and I really enjoyed it and I like how you put "for fun" like this is fun! This is deep and meaningful (All of your work is)
I can relate to this, seeing as my fears are childish, like my fear of the ocean and being rejected...These are childish and silly thoughts, yet they have some real depth to them. Like you could actually drown in the ocean, and rejection hurts...like a bitch.
Anyway, I loved it, like I love the rest of your poems!
Izzy
I adore your use of bold and Italics to stress important words! This poem made me think about many things. Each line I read made me feel as if the words were drawing me deeper into my own thoughts. I hope you continue to write more. I can't wait to read more!!! (Also, I'm a bad writer so..I'm sorry)
I'll gladly tag you in my works! If you want, you can go to my profile then to my portfolio to check out my other poems. Or look along the right side of the page!
Hello! I am Murphy and I'm just stopping by for a review.
I really liked this piece. It instantly gave me chills. I like the end where it says no fear is childish because there are things I am afraid of that others would see as childish, like really dark places or walking outside by myself. I love that you put fears that aren't realistic like that shark in the pool. I know there are people who fear those things and I can only imagine how they get treated. Fear is the worst monster and nearly impossible to fight.
I really don't have any critiques. I thought this was very well done and executed perfectly. You really did put almost every aspect of fear into this which I appreciate. So good job you and thanks for the read. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.
Greenteas and salutations my dear friend!
My name is GreenTea and I'm here to review! I hope none of the constructive criticism will be taken negatively and the positive comments will help inspire you to continue. Let's get into the review!
Wow, this is a very interesting poem! Gives the reader something to think about. I'm not sure if you have seen these pieces of art, but your poem reminded me of it. An artist drew some images of mental disorders/fears in a unique and interesting way. It's a little creepypasta, but it was cool and different from anything I've seen. Anyway, I digress, but your poem reminded me of this. I like your use of bolding and italics to really stress certain words.
Time for comments!
OooooOOooOoOOoOOOOoOooooOOOOoOooooOOOOOhHHhHHHHHhHHhhhhhhhHHHh cooool ending my main man. Reaaaaal cool ending!
Well, that’s all I have for now! Hope I gave you a quali-tea review!
再見
Zàijiàn!
~GreenTea
@Dreamworx95 @DemonGoddess @woahhitherepal @WhosabellCanWrite @TheBlueCat @LittleLee @269609 @Lake @LordTachanka @LadyLoki @AnneTaylor @Danni88
YAY
Well, that was quick.
Woooooo
Hello! I am officially back from Winter Break, I'm surprised at the fact that I had over 1000 notifications! You people have been doing a lot!!!!!!