Just breathe.
Eventually the truth will unfold,
So much is still unknown.
Such is lost within the folds of a clock,
Even Death is the new kid off the block.
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140,145 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hi there Flumadiddle!
I feel like maybe I'm missing something because I know nothing about this character (this is about a character, right?)
Anyway, I was cruising the green room for something to review, and I saw that this was poetry (my forte when it comes to reviews) so, I thought I'd stop by.
Anyway.
Onto the review!
'Just breathe' is a very classic line, which, is fine, but if you want this poetry to be completely new, you can always try changing up all those cliché phrases.
I also noticed that the last two lines rhyme, however nothing else does. And, as I always say, you either rhyme or don't rhyme.
Going back to 'Such is lost within the folds of a clock', I would envision more the 'layers' or 'gears' of a clock, not really folds.
Anyway, I don't know what else to say, as this is quite short.
Keep writing!
~Whatchamacallit
This review is brought to you by the Cranberries!
Izzy here for a review
And hello hello Em!
These really bring out your character's personality and what kind of secrety secrets they have!
"So much is still unknown" that line really says it all, because SO MUCH IS STILL UNKNOWN!
But I look forward to reading the rest of the story and see how it goes!
Izzy
Yes. Secrety secrets of the secrety secret society.
SO SECRETIVE
@DemonGoddess @LordTachanka @Saruka @woahhitherepal @DarkPandemonium @Steggy @WhosabellCanWrite