Stop.
Please.
And yet you scream at me.
You throw pillows and soda bottles,
Shoes and compter cases.
You got up to my face and beat me with a pillow,
Your face tomato red and veins popping.
You left me curled in a ball,
Reassured that you would do worse the next time.
Stress clouds me, when your in the room.
I hate you.
I can't relax around you.
I can't breathe around you.
I can't do hardly anything around you.
You told me I should eat more,
Just the other day.
So I have been.
Purging with the crappiest food I can find,
Then wishing I hadn't and wondering if I force myself to vomit.
Thinking I should starve myself.
You.
Are.
Breaking.
Me.
Stop.
Please.
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139,784 Literary Works • 672,765 Reviews
Hi! Danni here for a review!
First off, love the formatting. Good idea to emphasise the particular words. It really makes them stand out and show how the victim is suffering.
Secondly, this is so heartbreaking. I’ve been reading the other reviews and your sister does this to you? That sucks. How can someone do that to their own family? It’s so hurtful. No one deserves to be treated like this.
As @Willard says, you spelt ‘your’ wrongly.
Overall, I liked this poem, and I’m so sorry. *hugs*
And thanks for the tag!
Danni x
Its ok. I'am used to it!
That's a very impressive description of a very victimized person. What makes it especially poignant is that it is a sister involved. One can feel the desperation that the speaker feels by the clear descriptive language. It engenders pity, anger, compassion.
It's when I read or hear about such things that I wonder whether I was indeed not lucky to have been an only child. Reminded me of my cousin Billy and his younger brother Edwin. Edwin was always at the receiving end of his punches. In fact, Billy went so far as to beat up Edwin's wife. So sometimes it doesn't end with childhood. As a reader I of course wondered where this is a persona or if indeed it is describing a personal experience. If indeed it is, then as reader i would suggest seeking help and not passively going along as a victim since that only serves to encourage a predatory personality.
I almost offered a suggestion to write it in another format but then realized that the disparate arrangement of stanzas reinforces the meaning of falling or breaking apart under pressure. Very nice!
Thank you! I am going to talk to my school counseller about it so yeah.
gotta say, im not sure how many pieces my heart just shattered into. Your poetry reminded me so much of my little sister... Your hurt for mine <3
Thank you?
*you're.
I just had to do it.
Its ok.
*looks at you, mentally, with a heart-broken face*
Fluma? Your sister did this to you? She told you to purge? She's practically abusing you? Ya know, I hate planes, like...absolutely HATE them, but if this really is happening, I'm going to book a flight and I will find you and give your family a piece of my mind!!!!!!!>:(
No one treats my basically sister this way! Even if she is your REAL sister, that is NOT how family treats each other!!!!!
The only thing Imma say about this poem is that you did amazing, you always improve in each of your poems!:)
But......THE HELLL!!!!!??????????? I swear to F**king GOD! I already got angry that my favorite series isn't releasing the next book until December 4th this year, I don't need to deal with YOU! You of all people important to me, getting hurt, suffering by purging, then throwing up!!!!!!! Trust me, at one point in my life, which was last year in October, don't remember the date exactly, but I threw up for five days straight, I don't want you to do this to yourself Fluma!!!! You have to come to me and ask for help!!!! I promise I'll be there for you! I swear! If you ever need help, I will respond right away when I have the chance!!!!!!!!!
I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and I'm glad Kara is there for you!:) By the way, only this once, Pollution said she's sorry. That's a first.
*Grim looks over* I want to kill her sister. But Fluma won't let me. Its sad.
Grim, I am not purging. Well, not forcing myself to throw-up. Yet. I should be fine for now and Lake, thank you. Umm, And Pollution. Thank you too.
*Grim looks at Pollution and nods head in respect.*
I have a problem with her locking herself away, but she smiled at Grim, so I think it's cute she's finally doing something other than sleeping.
Woo!
*Grim looks over and smiles back at Pollution*
Hi Flumadiddle! It's been awhile since we've talked! I really love the way you wrote this, but I find that I don't like reviewing pieces with deep meanings like this because it seems insensitive to sit here and be like "I don't like /blank/ because /blank/ and you should do /blank/ better" when the writing is about something so personal. If that makes sense.
I'm sorry about your situation, I hope it gets better. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, until they want to starve themselves, especially from a family member that's supposed to love and protect them. It sucks.
Thanks! And hey, explain the meaning of my pieces! I LOVE seeing what people have to say about my works!
No prob bob. Awesome! Will do.^^
**cracks knuckes**
)
Okay
I’m making a better formatted version of this (not a bad thing. You’re just using italics and bold. You could use Word too
Printing it out
And giving it to your sister
oH.
um,
ok.
Yeah your sister shall not treat you like shit no more
Good.
And thanks.
@Dreamworx95 @DemonGoddess @woahhitherepal @WhosabellCanWrite @TheBlueCat @LittleLee @269609 @Lake @LordTachanka @LadyLoki @AnneTaylor @Danni88 @GreenTea @Murphy2493 @Helena13 @emolemon @wordwing @SpaceSnickerdoodle
Hiya? Would you mind tagging me in your next literary piece? I'd love to read your stuff.^^
Of course!