Gee, I guess we both have had a messed up life.
Really though, I think you are the only good thing to happen to me.
Indeed, the scars that trace our skin seem obsenece.
For some nights that is all that is seen,
For others, all I see is something, someone, worth the wait.
Indeed, we are all hurt in a way but this is fate.
Now Nayleth, please get some sleep, it has been over a week.
Authors note - This is to help me understand my character for my novel Something More, Something Unique Chapter 1 better. This is Griffins poem. Next up is J and Sully.
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140,793 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hello Flumadiddle! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
Gee, I guess we both have had a messed up life.
Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough= removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
Spoiler
Really though,
I thinkyou are the only good thing to happen to me.Indeed, the scars that trace our skin seem obsenece.
For some nights that is all that is seen, {WHAT IS LOVE}
For others, all I see is something, someone, worth the wait.
Indeed, we are all hurt in a way but this is fate.
Now Nayleth, please get some sleep, {for} it has been over a week.
My interpretation:
I don't really need an interpretation??
Overall:
I did like this. The idea to do characterization poems is genius, in my opinion. Keep up the great work!
Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara
THANK YOU!
GRIM! GRIM!
WHAT E.E?!
KARA SAID MY IDEA WAS GENIUS!
Cool.
GRIM.
Hey it's Izzy here for a review!
I agree with what @Radrook said with how it doesn't carry enough emotional significance because it is too vague.
This poem makes little sense, but I can tell the kind of emotions you are trying to get across.
Overall, this is very good and I really like your work (obviously, cause we are friends, and you are a good writer of the poetry)
Keep writing!
Izzy
Of the poetry. Yes. I am of the poetry.
Very much so of the poetry
Good idea to make poetry about characters. Never thought of that. However, as a stand-alone poem it doesn't carry any emotional significance since it is completely vague in meaning. What wait? What kind of scars? What is fate? Why inflicted? So as a personal exercise it is OK I guess. But not as a poem that moves the reader to care or get emotionally involved.
Suggestions:
obsnece? I think you mean obscene-right?
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/obscene
For some nights that is all that is seen[.]
The consecutive; see, obscene, seen, sound came across as distracting..
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