Thank You

Hey there IvoryRose here for a review! I think the piece was really sweet because friendship is really valuable. Even having one good friend is enough to bring joy. Usually I find these types of poems cheesy, but you did a good job. You made sure that the focus was appreciating your friends and your emotions. You have no idea how many people put random words together and call it poetry because “The first letter of each stanza creates a word.” Enough about my school ranting it’s your poem. I feel like your similes were a little weak. I feel like it would have been better if you followed with a metaphor. (I’m talking about the first stanza). The last one was really impactful and powerful. The narrator is still having their rough patch and begs their friends to stay. The friends are slowly saving the person and they hope the friends never leave. Overall great poem!

Hi there! Happy review day! I'm a poetry novice looking to improve my skills by reading and reviewing other writer's work. My advice won't be the best, but hopefully it's still useful.
First thoughts:
What can I say, except, you're welcome?

Second, more reasonable thoughts:

Punctuation:
Good. No objections there.

First Line:
I personally don't think the line is too childish, but I do agree that it's too long compared to the rest of the poem. Shortening it will help it flow better.

Structure:
Contrary to what some if the others said, I like the fact that this poem an acrostic. I always find that good acrostics are hard to write, so I'm impressed you did this so quickly.

Meaning:
This seems like a very personal poem that possibly has a story about it. If so, I think you were very brave to put this online. I know quite a few writers who don't tend to put their true feelings in their poems, or at least not in poems they intend to share.

Overall I thought it was a very sweet and heartfelt acrostic that I enjoyed reading.
Keep writing!
Ebony

ZeldaIsShiek here to review another one of @Flumadiddle's incredible creations! It's amazing how you manage to fit in a secret message that relates to the story while still keeping the poem fluent and ambiguous. Astounding work! Let's begin before the Werewolves reclaim their lead, shall we?

The first thing I noticed that I really loved about this poem was the message it gave the reader, and the feeling that came with it. This feeling is one of thanksgiving and greatness. It makes us feel like the poet is truly relying on their friends, and even though they are going through a rough patch, having their friends there with them is what is helping them to make it all the way! This is something truly worth thanking your friends for. When I feel lonely or something is getting me down, my friends are always there for me. Friendship is a vital aspect of anyone's life, and without it, the world would not be quite the same place.

Your way of expressing how grateful you are to your friends through both the title and poem itself is as quintessential as it is helpful. You not only feel for your friends the way you do, but it helps them to get through their own problems as a result of your thanks. Please, do keep writing poems like this one, and keep reviewing, too! See you next time, and may the best Witches win! ZeldaIsShiek- Out!

@ZeldaIsShiek

Hello Flumadiddle! Welcome to YWS! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

My interpretation:

Overall:

This review courtesy of

LittleLee's here for a review!! I agree with what Lumi said, and I have a few more things to say:
I think the first line is just too long and it sounds childish.
The second line is just too short and is just THERE, not really contributing to the poem on any way except making it longer by three words and a comma.

I like the fourth line... It's like, your t tired of laughing through the pain, but you are still going to keep it up.

The fifth line is just way too melodramatic! It's also sort of long.
The last two lines are, again, childish, and need to be refined.
Right, that's it. Reorganize the poem, use better and more mature sentences, and you're good.
Sorry for being rather critical!

I won't take corners off for you just since this is a dedication to friendship and getting through hard times together. The thing is, I could gobble up that tripe all night, but for me to do that, it would have to be written well and forged in a way that made me believe it; so while you have a cute piece that I'm sure your friends will enjoy and cherish, it doesn't quite qualify as good literature.

Your use of colloquial tongue dampens your flow tremendously and really cuts into your natural momentum. The use of acrostic poetry doesn't help either, I feel, though I've not judged it long enough to rule it in, either???

The redeeming factor in this is that it has a second side, speaking to the demons of what I interpreted as depression--that was a jab that I appreciated because it's an affirmation I find true. So to break down my notes:

1. Try it as a non-acrostic
2. Try some figurative language and poetic devices
3. Expand the lore a bit for more impact

All the best,
Lumi

@Saruka @woahhitherepal @DemonGoddess @LordTachanka