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Young Writers Society



Grim - Part 7 of SMSU Poetry

by DeerInBacPac


Get them here now. 

Ring them in, make sure they know the real me.   

Indeed, they might hate me but this world is crumbling too soon. 

Make sure Mark tells Nat his secret, make sure Griffin finds his parents. 

Heres the link to chapter one if you want to catch up! https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=137653#comments

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364 Reviews

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Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:01 pm
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zaminami wrote a review...



Hello Flumadiddle! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

Spoiler! :
Get them here now.

Ring them in, make sure they know the real me. {This is weirdly worded grammatically}

Indeed, they might hate me{,} but this world is crumbling too soon.

Make sure Mark tells Nat his secret, {and} make sure Griffin finds his parents


My interpretation:



I don't need an interpretation??

Overall:



I did like this poem. What did Grim think about it? A bit strange grammatically, but otherwise it was good! Keep up the great work.

Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --

Kara

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DeerInBacPac says...


Thanks! I am debating about giving Grim a chapter or two. Should I?



DeerInBacPac says...


And Grim loved it. As norm.



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Mon Dec 11, 2017 11:48 am
LakeOfCancer wrote a review...



You sure know how to write a fantastic poem Fluma! And I congratulate you on getting this on Spotlight! I may have never told you about my alter ego, but you making this poem dedicated to Grim, it was just spectacular. I really love how you provide the link to Chapter One so that way people have an idea of what's going on and why you wrote this! Great job dude! Keep up the brilliant work!:)

*Pollution walks in*

Pollution: Dear god! Do you have to say that after EVERY review!?

Yes, yes I do.




DeerInBacPac says...


THAT IS FANTASTIC HI POLLUTION!



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Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:39 am
LittleLee says...



YAY A POEM DEDICATED TO GRIM
*Hugs




DeerInBacPac says...


*Grim looks over*

Ayyyyyye Lee!

*hugs back*



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Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:03 am
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DeerInBacPac says...



OH. MY. KEEPERS. THIS IS ON THE SPOTLIGHT. GRIM PART 7 IS ON THE SPOTLIGHT.





I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
— Holden Caulfield