You Tell Me Things I Never Thought I Would Hear From A Man Who Loved Me

This is just the best!

THIS IS JUST INCREDIBLE, BEAUTIFUL AND ALL OTHER WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW WONDERFUL THIS POEM IS!!!!!

Keep it up!!!!!

Oh my gosh, this is BEAUTIFUL! I love the feelings that you're conveying here

Hello, I have come to review your work.

I would first like to start by going over the general feel of your work. As someone who can appreciate good poetry, and has had clear aversions towards free verse, I will say that it was not bad.

Your work seem to, however, lack certain depth. Since it is an emotional poem, and not really a story by itelf (as opposed to, say, epic poems, like Gilgamesh or the works of Homer, or any story-driven poetry), depth is the only thing I would expect. See, what you have described has been described countless times before. It does not, at least for me personally, offer any real insight or breath of fresh air in the genre of lyrical poetry. It would help, perhaps, if you avoided the stereotypical, and focued more on the truly impactful. With an already very common topic, the only way to achieve this, in my mind, is by means of good verse and/or better descriptions of the truly wounding experience that a relationship can be.

I would personally focus on the former. Free verse is fine and dandy, if used right. Your work could, however, benefit from real form, in my opinion, as right now, it lacks all its aspects. From meter to rhyme, your work is very much like prose written in lines, and reads exactly so. It is a tad rigid.

You did, however, experiment with formatting, and that has had rather interesting results. Maybe a bit overdone, but still fine.

Good learning experience, good effort. In my opinion, you should look into improving your form and perhaps choice of topic, or at least the presentation of said topic.
Keep at it. Giving it your best is all any of us can strive for.

Good luck!!

You cannot write a poem while only looking at one aspect of emotion. Simply put, you cannot write an evocative piece (such as what you aimed to do here) by only describing one thing. There are multiple aspects to anger, fear, and most any emotion. They must be described through more than one sense. There is touch, taste, smell, etc that make up an emotion. This being so, it is beneficial to you and the reader to describe a full scene. It is beneficial to you to describe what is happening as well as how and why it is happening. For example, simply stating "I break" is bland. However, stating, " I crumble, listening to your voice, watching for repentance that cannot come, wanting to feel your confessions once more" would be an example (its mediocrity is evident but regardless) of effective description. Even adding the time and place to a scene can create a stronger mood or tone. You have your tone set and you have an outline. This is good. Now you must create a scene, create a setting, and establish a tone using MULTIPLE aspects of description.

Keep writing!

I LOVE IT !!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

You cannot write a poem while only looking at one aspect of emotion. Simply put, you cannot write an evocative piece (such as what you aimed to do here) by only describing one thing. There are multiple aspects to anger, fear, and most any emotion. They must be described through more than one sense. There is touch, taste, smell, etc that make up an emotion. This being so, it is beneficial to you and the reader to describe a full scene. It is beneficial to you to describe what is happening as well as how and why it is happening. For example, simply stating "I break" is bland. However, stating, " I crumble, listening to your voice, watching for repentance that cannot come, wanting to feel your confessions once more" would be an example (its mediocrity is evident but regardless) of effective description. Even adding the time and place to a scene can create a stronger mood or tone. You have your tone set and you have an outline. This is good. Now you must create a scene, create a setting, and establish a tone using MULTIPLE aspects of description.

Keep writing!

Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you in any way, I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)

You are really trying to make doing reviews harder aren't you? Haha Jk! Anyways it was really good, Like I'm on the verge of crying good.

THere wasn't anything else that I thought that needed work, Keep up the good writing. Have a good day!

I like it, in the first verse it reminds me of Anne of Cleves.

Hi Fluma! Danni here for a review! Thanks for the tag.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love your formatting! It really adds something to the poem.
Also, I love the idea here. I have had these thoughts many times so I understand what it's like.
This is a really great poem! It flows really well (like all your poems) and has a powerful meaning. I loved this!
Keep up the good work!

Danni x

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Just to clarify, (most for Sam aka LordTachanka), we are good. I just added some things at the end to make the poem have a lighter feel by the end. This is a very upsetting topic for the both of us. It was difficult to write and is painful to read. I recommend, if you are not in a good mood, to not read this and put it on a Read-Later list.