Snap!
Something breaks.
Then I shake.
Its fine. Your okay. I am here.
Someone whispers into my ear.
And I decided that I won't disappear.
Please, don't leave. Please, I need you.
Leaving is not an option.
And no longer shall corruption reign over me.
Because your okay.
Because I am okay.
I wrote this in the middle of Spanish so bear with me and it took me about five minutes so eh. Also, I AM GOOD. *cough cough @LordTachanka cough cough*
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
@TheBlueCat
Hello Flumadiddle! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
Snap!
Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough= removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
Spoiler
Something breaks.
{And t}hen I shake.
{"]It{'}s fine. {You're} okay. I am here.{"}
Someone whispers into my ear.
{So} I decided that I {wouldn't} disappear.
Please, don't leave. Please, I need you.
Leaving is not an option.
And no longer shall corruption reign over me.
Because {you're} okay.
Because I am okay.
My interpretation:
Depression sucks, man.
Overall:
Overall, I liked, but your flow and stuff could be worked on. One question: Did Señora Huff catch you writing this? XD I would give anything to see that. Also, I'm sick, so don't ask where I am please
also we should totally collab on poetry sometime about one hooman breaking down and another hooman's perspective on thatWhy haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara
No senora Huff did not catch me. Actually, I finished all of my work so she was okay with me writing. AND YES THAT IS A MUST POETRY CALLAB YIS
YIS
who would be the depressed person? me or you?
I mean I want to be the dp because "hello" and "dear you" and stuff but you knowSure!
okay, um google doc?
yerp
bOOM SHARED
Hmmmm I am just like okay....
I don't know if this is about wanting to leave like, dying, or actually leaving, like a place. Could you clarify that for me?
I really like this. Either way, this person really wants you to stay, and wants you to know you are safe and that yeah.
Good job E.E. I mean, this is awesome considering you did it in spanish lol.
Izzy
@LordTachanka @DemonGoddess @Saruka @woahhitherepal @DarkPandemonium @WhosabellCanWrite