Garlic bread,
And me.
Really now, this is meant to be.
Lounging in the sun, you and me,
In love with the breeze.
Come on now, time to be what we were meant to be.
This poem was for a close friend of mine, so do not take this seriously and I wrote this, not caring about grammar and such.
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Canary word: Present
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137,902 Literary Works • 672,070 Reviews
Hello Flumadiddle! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
Garlic bread,
Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough= removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
Spoiler
And me.
Really now, this is meant to be.
Lounging in the sun, you and me,
In love with the breeze. {Breeze doesn't rhyme with your rhyme scheme}
Come
onnow, time to be what we were meant to be.My interpretation:
... it feels like a love poem, but "Garlic bread" is just random.
Also which close friend? I know it's not me haha
Overall:
Overall? I liked, but the "garlic bread" concept is very jarring for me. What does it meannnnnnnnnnnnn?
Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara
this is in honor of big brother's birthday
I wrote this for a close friend of mine, Gabe. He LOVES garlic bread. I have no idea why. Seriously, its a problem.
Hi there,
Danni here for a review!
Love the acrostic part. That's really clever. You know, about an hour before reading this I ate some garlic bread! What a coincidence. Or maybe the all-powerful god of garlic bread drew me to it. Whatever.
OK, now the serious stuff:
You say you didn't care about grammar when you wrote it, but I can't find any grammatical errors! Well done.
I don't really get the bit about 'time to be what we were meant to be', because surely garlic bread is meant to be eaten? Or is that the whole point and I am being dense and missing it?
And also, how come the poem is called Gabe's Garlic Bread when there is nobody called Gabe mentioned? Or is Gabe the narrator?
That's about the only nitpick. I liked this poem!
See you around,
Danni
Gabe is the name of my friend whom I wrote the poem for.
Ah! That explains it
This is honestly the best poem of existence. @Flumadiddle
So great. Like YAS BECKY.
YAS BECKY??
don't ask.
No really
Its a thing between me and Gabe and bf.
@LordTachanka @woahhitherepal @DemonGoddess @Saruka @WhosabellCanWrite @Sheytato
pfft I love it
y u no tag me!1!!!11! so r00d11!!!!1
I MEANT TO BUT GOT DISTRACTED @Londone
UH HUH THAT'S WHAT THE LAST ONE SAID xD
I AM NOT LYING