Young Writers Society

Oh my goodness Snoink, did you know that ChatGPT can be used to critique poetry? I tested your poem on it:

ChatGPT3 wrote:The poem raises some interesting questions and has a unique perspective, exploring the discrepancy between the perception of chickens as gentle creatures and the reality of consuming them. The use of imagery, such as "soft flesh" and "tear at their skin," is impactful and provides a visceral understanding of the topic being addressed.

However, the poem's language and tone can be off-putting and jarring, particularly in the explicit description of eating chickens. The poem could benefit from further development to provide a more nuanced exploration of the topic and to create a clearer connection between the questions being raised and the themes being explored. Additionally, the poem's structure is somewhat fragmented, which detracts from its overall impact.

Overall, the poem has potential, but it would benefit from further refinement to create a more powerful and thought-provoking work.

Hi there! Green here for a quick review

I really like the way that the first stanza sounds when read aloud.

The alliteration and plosive sound of the 'f's in this part:

how their soft flesh felt

tear at their skin with my teeth?

I loved this! I don't totally understand what's with this website and chickens since im new, but if its births great poems like this then I love it! From what I understood from this poem is that the character/one speaking was eating the chickens alive or at least without proper skinning and cooking. Which is really fun to read and hear a poem about.

You did a great job in phrasing a question into a poem smoothly! The second part is really good as well with the question of or would you rather? Then go into dreaming and thinking about what you were describing in the beginning.

The lines, "how soft their flesh felt" really sets up the feel of the poem. It really creates a feeling of disgust and intrigue. Same with the line "Tear at their skin with my teeth."
The idea of your words carrying the last echo's spoken by the chickens you eat is a great line and thought.

Same with "Dream of feathers lost in the wind." Putting the thought that the one hearing this would start dreaming or thinking about you eating them is really fun to think about!

The only thing I might have done differently is some of the transitioning ends of lines. For instance, "or would you..." Or is a rather rough word, so starting out with it can be a bit hard to make it flow through the poem. Perhaps you could change it into "Perhaps would you..." Perhaps is a bit more easy on the tongue in my opinion.

Overall a great poem and a fun read! Sorry I don't have too much to say or critique but I still hope I could give you some ideas of what you do good!