Here I come to review another long-forgotten piece.
I don't think I can actually criticise anything, and obviously asking doubts will confuse the both of us, so...
Well, I can straight-off see the vast improvements you've made in writing poetry, but that doesn't demean your older work! This little poem is as bewildering and funny as Lovely Chicken, so here's another gem I have to put up. 
So, the story of this poem (if you can call it that) is... intriguing. And truly funny! I really like how you want everyone to notice your brain dying but.... Pfft. It's gone before you know it. Haha.
Earthquakes would start
Followed by floods.
And then the crust itself
Would collaspe
I was thinking you could work on this a little bit? After "start," insert a comma, replace the fullstop after "floods" with a semicolon, and after "collapse" (which was spelled collaspe - 'tis a typo, I think) insert an exclamation mark. That'll go nicely with the previous one.
But instead it stopped
With just a fizzle
And a nod of the head.
I love this so much that I can't explain why. xD
Well, now that I've successfully dug this out of your memory, I'll be on my way!
It's great reading your old work.
- Lee
Here's a lovely little banner by @ShadowVyper
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