Hello Hello, I hope you dont me popping in with a review. I am well aware this is old and that any feedback I do say might not be taken due to that. Anyway onto the actual review, I love this piece throughout. You paint such a wholesome nice moment while playing with an undercurrent of cynicism. I am just wowed by that ending it's such a twist and hits the reader like a truck. ( Please tell me this isn't based on real life that poor bird my lord.)
Now I will apologize if this is a very lacklustre and short review but I only have one real piece of feedback. Even then it's nothing big just a word a choice that might be a bit overused but smoother or at least to me. I do get this is older as I said before and I am by no means a professional. So you can take what you want of course that's the magic of feedback. Okay, Okay I will get on with it now.
"Stubbornness firing your eyes" Although firing works just fine it feels a bit odd to me. Personally, I would alter this just a bit to become " Stubbornness blazing in your eyes"
Overall I still cant get over that ending gets you like it did the bird. I hope you enjoyed this small blast to the past and or cringe at your old work. I know looking back can be a cringeworthy experience sometimes. As always keep writing and drink water!
Points: 23671
Reviews: 204
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