z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



Clothes

by Snoink


White shirt is dirty
Black pants don't fit anymore
I wait for laundry


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
167 Reviews

Points: 32622
Reviews: 167

Donate
Fri Sep 29, 2023 2:04 pm
View Likes
Rose wrote a review...



Greetings @Snoik

Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm diving headfirst into some new reading material, ready for an adventure. I whip out my trusty binoculars, and what do I see? An interesting poem titled "Clothes" that definitely deserves a solid review. So, no more waiting around, let's jump right in!

Image

I find it rather intriguing that you can create a poem with three single sentences. A few minutes ago I had no idea that this was even possible, I didn't even know what a haiku was. But I'm glad I know now, well, your poem is the reason I know it now. My fellow friend, Google, helped me find out what that exactly is.

I must say, I quite enjoyed reading a three-sentence poem, it seems so out of the ordinary. Perhaps I should just say amazingly awesome, or incredibly interesting.

The best part of your poem is probably the fact that it is relatable for most people, we all love something relatable. Things happen and it's fun to read about it.

Everything in all and all in everything, here a quick short review for your three-sentence poem which I enjoyed reading in two seconds, *Blink, Blink. Now, while lengthy reviews may dive deep, short reviews can still make a splash.

That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!

With writer’s love,
Rose




User avatar
116 Reviews

Points: 15197
Reviews: 116

Donate
Mon Sep 25, 2023 6:25 pm
LuminescentAnt wrote a review...



Hey Snoink! I'm going to leave a super quick Checklist Challenge review for your haiku here.

This poem seems to be slightly humorous and describes the common relatable-ness of doing laundry.

I like that the "white shirt" and "black pants" are opposite from each other, and you described them as being different from each other. The person is saying that both the clothes have something not normal about them, and they are both in the laundry.

Not much to say here since this was such a short poem. But overall I enjoyed it! I hope to read more of your poems in the future!
Happy Writing!
Image




User avatar
59 Reviews

Points: 25
Reviews: 59

Donate
Wed Sep 20, 2023 8:27 pm
TheCornDogEnthusiast wrote a review...



Hello!
This...this is a work of art. A simple, bland poem where one is left with almost nothing to review on, but those three lines.
They say so little but they say so much.
The humor in this poem is subtle, but sweet. Waiting for laundry can seem to be a daunting action, which is not mentioned in this poem.
That's the great thing about short poems; they have so much mystery that they make you think. They make you think about the structure or the motive. It may mean nothing, or it may mean something huge, but it all depends on the reader's perspective.
Wonderful poem, one of the best short poems I've seen.

Approved by the Corn Dog Enthusiasts Association (CDEA)




User avatar
218 Reviews

Points: 31197
Reviews: 218

Donate
Mon Sep 18, 2023 10:00 pm
View Likes
AmayaStatham wrote a review...



Salutations, curious mind!



Rinisha is back here and ready to review 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause this is going to be a bumpy ride. I’m going to keep it short alright!✨

All in all

This party rocked, let's take a quick look!

I love the fact that this is about someone who doesn't know what to put on. This is such a typical and relatable poem. The person doesn't really like the clothes that they have now, they want that one shirt/ pant which is on at this moment in the laundry.

You could work on:✒️

I’ve noticed that most of your poems are short and just a cute little bundle in one package. I would suggest that you try and expand them, but if that’s your strength feel free to skip this suggestion.

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉

Image




User avatar
122 Reviews

Points: 1150
Reviews: 122

Donate
Wed Sep 13, 2023 1:12 am
GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...



Happy RevMo! Gengar here to leave a review!
Image
Hello… it’s me. Again

General Impression:

Another short & sweet poem! Is it a haiku? Sorry, I’m not good at identifying these kinds of things 😅

What I Liked:

It’s good at portraying a story in such a small amount of words. We can feel the emotion of the speaker even though they only insert their thoughts in the last line.

Areas of Improvement:

I feel ir could use punctuation, like commas after the first two lines and a period on the last (uhh I’m not sure if this kind of poem does not have punctuation)

I hope my review could be helpful. I wish you a good day/night!
—GengarIsBestBoy




Snoink says...


It's a very silly haiku, yes, lol.



User avatar
663 Reviews

Points: 11295
Reviews: 663

Donate
Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:46 pm
Messenger wrote a review...



The Messenger here to review for you Snoink! Happy Review Day!!!
Hehehehehe. That was funny. Sounds like stories I've heard, and siblings I have with such problems. Very funny haiku which I am starting to read more and really starting to enjoy and appreciate. You got the syllable count correct *thumbs up* and I see from to others that this is a very true haiku.
Keep it up!




User avatar
193 Reviews

Points: 408
Reviews: 193

Donate
Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:41 pm
Niraco wrote a review...



I am just getting into senryu or haikus I can't very well tell the difference so sorry for that. This actually made me laugh harder than I feel I should have. I felt that it was lacking but what it lacked you made up for in humour.

White shirt is dirty
Black pants don't fit anymore
I wait for laundry


It really does detail almost every college student I know. It was well written and made me giggle an awful lot. Great job and keep on writing!




User avatar
23 Reviews

Points: 1423
Reviews: 23

Donate
Mon Oct 18, 2010 2:11 pm
Huff Puff says...



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
MASTERPIECE!
x




User avatar
84 Reviews

Points: 1707
Reviews: 84

Donate
Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:14 am
HostofHorus says...



Wow Snoink haha It was great =P




User avatar
18 Reviews

Points: 1040
Reviews: 18

Donate
Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:29 pm
asweeney1919 says...



i realy loved it




User avatar
111 Reviews

Points: 3354
Reviews: 111

Donate
Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:20 pm
Kwantack says...



It's perfect in every way possible!




User avatar
10 Reviews

Points: 1060
Reviews: 10

Donate
Sat Oct 09, 2010 2:04 am
SohpieeRose says...



Nice work












hehe :)




User avatar
3821 Reviews

Points: 3891
Reviews: 3821

Donate
Thu May 06, 2010 10:17 pm
Snoink says...



Hahaha, actually, it's a senryu, which is a humorous haiku! Or something like that.

Also, this is a pretty old poem! I'm going to lock it so that more people can critique to poems that actually need critiquing! But thanks for responding. :)




User avatar


Points: 1146
Reviews: 2

Donate
Thu May 06, 2010 10:12 pm
ScottieRAWR says...



Absolute win!
It's nice to see a poem that isn't cliched.
And it's a haiku!

Just Win!




User avatar
1260 Reviews

Points: 1630
Reviews: 1260

Donate
Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:12 am
Elinor says...



What's a senryu? O.o

Edit: Darn, sorry for replying to this. I know I didn't bump it but I forgot to check the dates.




User avatar
3821 Reviews

Points: 3891
Reviews: 3821

Donate
Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:15 am
Snoink says...



Haha, I completely forgot about this poem.

It's actually a senryu.




User avatar
1260 Reviews

Points: 1630
Reviews: 1260

Donate
Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:54 pm
Elinor wrote a review...



Haha, awesome Snoink. This is a haiku, yes? I thought it was pretty awesome, and I laughed a little at the end. My only problem is that the lines seem a bit too forced. For instance, do we really say, "I wait for laundry"? No, we say, "I wait for the laundry." I can understand that this is a haiku and you're limited on the syllables that you can use, but don't be afraid to go digging around for a line that fits the requirement while not sounding awkward to reader.

-Elinor




User avatar
94 Reviews

Points: 8671
Reviews: 94

Donate
Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:42 pm
Pacific_Sky14 says...



Ya know, that's what happens to me! I hate it when the happens...another hour of waiting..errgh
~Skyy.




User avatar
94 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 94

Donate
Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:35 am
Jojo says...



These poems are really turning out to be SOMETHING!!! My friend caught me in school yesterday reciting to my mind this one about your laundry.




User avatar
221 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 221

Donate
Sat Dec 17, 2005 8:35 am
Elelel says...



YAY!!! I loves it!




User avatar
798 Reviews

Points: 17580
Reviews: 798

Donate
Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:01 am
Areida says...



*applauds*
Truly charming stuff, Snoinkers.




User avatar
3821 Reviews

Points: 3891
Reviews: 3821

Donate
Sat Dec 17, 2005 7:00 am
Snoink says...



Exactly! I got this poem stuck in my head after a nightmare, in which I had to do Mozart's Adagio in his famous clarinet concerto. *shivers* And I had no suitable clothes!




User avatar
594 Reviews

Points: 6831
Reviews: 594

Donate
Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:45 am
Crysi says...



*nods* So runs the life of a band geek... lol. Nice.




User avatar
131 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 131

Donate
Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:37 am
Ohio Impromptu says...



Spectacular!





An existential crisis a day keeps the writer's block away <3
— LadyBug