z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



Staring Contest

by Snoink


He looked at me
I stared back.

He scratched his nose
I stared back.

He rubbed his hair
I stared back.

He smiled a bit
I stared back.

He yawned and stretched
I stared back.

He ate some food
I stared back.

He choked on a hot dog
I stared back.

His face became blue
I stared back.

He gagged and convulsed
I stared back.

He fell to the floor
I stared back.

The ambulance came
I stared back.

He blinked.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



Random avatar

Points: 1696
Reviews: 19

Donate
Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:17 am
Echo090 says...



One word: funny. XD




User avatar
13 Reviews

Points: 1040
Reviews: 13

Donate
Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:29 am
WriterMajorInRomance says...



Whoa! Hahaha! A staring match could really KILL!! :D




User avatar
14 Reviews

Points: 979
Reviews: 14

Donate
Tue Apr 12, 2011 3:46 pm
greg925 says...



LOL! That was demented. The repetition made it all the more madning. Nice one




User avatar
137 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 137

Donate
Sun Jan 15, 2006 5:05 am
DarkerSarah wrote a review...



...

That is my response to that poem. But then, I thought about it, and this :shock: became :lol:

Hehe.




User avatar
701 Reviews

Points: 10087
Reviews: 701

Donate
Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:30 am
bubblewrapped wrote a review...



**points** What they said. LOL I loved this. I read it through - becoming slightly irritated with the staring person, I will admit -and then I got to "he blinked" and I sat there and blinked myself, LOL. Very clever and unexpected. I like the rhythm too (must say SOMETHING critique-ish hehe), very catchy. And that ending took me completely by surprise. :D :lol: :wink: =D> =D> =D> \:D/ :thumb:




Random avatar

Points: 890
Reviews: 335

Donate
Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:20 am
Fireweed wrote a review...



disturbing...yet funny 8) :lol: :shock:




User avatar
13 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 13

Donate
Sun Dec 11, 2005 7:14 pm
ConvolutedEmpty wrote a review...



OMG, I love this, it doesn't hold the same kind of senseless, soul searching depth as most, it's more thinking, struck silence, and then hysterical laughter. I thought it was very clever, and although the repetition became tiresome after a little while, in the end it all worked because the end caught you off guard, excellent work!




User avatar
481 Reviews

Points: 6194
Reviews: 481

Donate
Mon Oct 10, 2005 6:46 am
Bobo says...



LMAO. This is hilarious, in a morbid sort of way.




User avatar
863 Reviews

Points: 2090
Reviews: 863

Donate
Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:35 am
Griffinkeeper says...



I deny everything.

Actually, I don't deny giving Snoink inspiration.

Now that I think about it, she did write it on my computer...

Nah, I still deny it.




User avatar
3821 Reviews

Points: 3491
Reviews: 3821

Donate
Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:06 am
Snoink says...



Laugh all you want! I was in tears while doing this improvised poem (Griffinkeeper inspired it).




User avatar
447 Reviews

Points: 2340
Reviews: 447

Donate
Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:34 pm
Duskglimmer says...



*blinks* wow... I... was not expecting that. *is unsure whether to laugh or just continue blinking*

I don't know what you were aiming for, but you certainly got a reaction out of the reader. Good job there...




User avatar
241 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 241

Donate
Sun Oct 09, 2005 4:41 pm
zelithon says...



kinda funny and yet creepy in a good way.




User avatar
22 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 22

Donate
Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:20 am
FireGirl says...



Haha! Very funny, I really like it. Good work..




User avatar
683 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 683

Donate
Sun Oct 09, 2005 7:12 am
Emma says...



Lmao! This is funny. xD

...Wait... Is this meant to be funny? I just like it.





Look, a good poem is a poem that exists. Any poem you write is better than the poem you don't.
— WeepingWisteria