Lovely Chicken

Comments

Points: 21128
Reviews: 444

Donate

Tue May 25, 2021 6:16 pm

View Likes

Hijinks wrote a review...

Hiya Snoink! @LittleLee thought I'd like this poem so here I am with a short little review c:

I mean honestly, chicken poetry, what's not to like. And I agree with Lee that the randomness of this poem is - for lack of better words - quite lovely :) This poem isn't trying to be deep or pretentious or complicated or fancy and that's honestly a nice change of pace. It's just a cute little four-liner about chickens.

(Quick disclaimer: I do realize this is a 16-year-old poem and you'd probably write it TOTALLY differently now and these comments/critiques wouldn't at all apply anymore xD But I wasn't really sure how else to review it so, that being said, here's a review for Snoink from 16 years ago!)

Where clucking and a clacking,
Means it is time for eats.

Ah this makes me think of the hustle and squackiness of chickens when you bring them out some scraps or dandelions. They really do not take it lightly, they go scrabbling all over the place for the best bits. Your choice to say "eats" instead of food really reflects the all-over-the-place chaos of it I think xD

One thing I would say is that I probably wouldn't end all of the lines with commas, as it interrupts the flow a bit (especially in the third line). I'd personally only leave a comma after "chicken" in the first line, as that's the only place where I naturally pause while saying it aloud. Buut punctuation in poetry is pretty subjective, so in the end, totally up to you!

The other little idea I had is that the repetition of "lovely" in the first line is a bit redundant (especially in such a short poem, when every word really counts) -> swapping one of them out for "dashing" or "sophisticated" or "fabulous" or "charming" or something would add a bit more meaning, and also just create a more vivid, specific image.

Overall though this poem definitely captures the simple nostalgia of feeding chickens - even if someone has never owned nor fed chickens I think they'd still get the ~vibe~ just from reading this poem, which is great! It definitely made me smile while I was reading it :)

Anyhoo there's a quick little review for ya! I might go sneak into your portfolio and see if I can find some more contemporary Snoink poetry to read since I'm sure your writing has changed a lot since 2005 c:

-whatcha

Snoink says...

OH MY.

Yes, my writing has definitely changed, ha! This is a good thing! Though, I haven't posted my newest work, lol.

[ Follow ]

Points: 18564
Reviews: 278

Donate

Sun Sep 13, 2020 3:52 pm

View Likes

LittleLee wrote a review...

This is so OLD and I don't think you'll read this, but MAN I needed this. I just began laughing at the sheer absurdity and randomness of it.

I must ask, though; is this written from the chicken's point of view or the human's? You say "lovely" chicken, and I assume you're speaking about the taste; then I get the impression the chickens are excited because it's feeding time.
If I was an English teacher I would probably find deep symbolism in these four lines and in a quavering voice point out that you meant this to be a poem that questions oneself and the urge to eat chicken, and the blurred line between Human and Chicken, but... I just did that. I saw something where it didn't exist.

But I still snort with laughter every time I read it, so you get full points for that.

- A highly amused Lee

~~And now I want chicken~~

Snoink says...

OH MY.

Considering that this was written fifteen years ago(!!!) I am not quite sure what I was thinking. But, I definitely made a bunch of joke poetry back then, so there's that!