Tail Held High

by Snoink

Published September 2, 2006

In Poetry

I had a tiny little dream
Where I was being followed
By a tiger, gray and black
Hiding in my shadow

At first I thought – ignore him.
That ghastly looming sight
Of a silent tiger
Trailing me by night.

But as we rambled onward
I hastened up my pace –
First a walk and then a jog –
A run and then a race!

He never ran, my tiger,
But he never fell behind
And so we rushed together
In a single little line.

And while I raced on, panicked,
A big hawk swooped down low
A great rock in its talons
Which at me it did throw

With a cry, I threw myself
Deep within the ground
When beside me came a roar
With a most amazing sound.

The tiger sprang up at the rock, and
With a mighty padded paw,
The rock burst into a million stars –
The tiger opened up his jaw…

He leapt up higher, higher still
And swallowed up the hawk –
Feathers tumbling from his mouth –
He smiled and then he dropped.

Out of the sky and onto the land –
I was very much afraid
Still, I crept close to the tiger
And saw him where he lay:

His eyes pulled shut, his paws outstretched
His body gleaming red
And as I walked up closer still,
I thought that he was dead.

My heart felt sick, my body shook
And as I began to weep
His yellow eyes blinked open,
And with a tigery creep:

He stood up and winked at me
Before running in the night
And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high.

Comments & reviews · 6
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Snoink
Comment
Snoink commented Comment · Sep 8, 2006

Well... she's obsessed with caps lock, if you couldn't tell, lol.

And I think she means comparison as metaphors. So she uses them interchangably. I think...

And yeah. The double syllable thing I was aiming for. Gah! Writing poetry is like playing suduko. You try to fix a line and end up having to replace the whole damn board. :P

User avatar
Poor Imp
Review
Poor Imp wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2006

I enjoyed it, Snoink. Of the rhyme, no complaints...except for the very last line --

And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high.


...his tail was holding - what high? The double syllable was what you wanted? Was his tail held high makes more sense.

The teacher wrote this about it:

He stood up and winked at me
Before running in the night
And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high. REWORK THIS TO FOCUS THE "COMPARISON" HERE? THIS IS SWEET AND FUNNY... IS IT A KIND OF CHILDREN'S STORY?


...This is your professor talking? --Is she perhaps confused? o0' ^_~

Focus comparison - joys of vagary.

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Snoink
Comment
Snoink commented Comment · Sep 8, 2006

The teacher wrote this about it:

He stood up and winked at me
Before running in the night
And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high. REWORK THIS TO FOCUS THE "COMPARISON" HERE? THIS IS SWEET AND FUNNY... IS IT A KIND OF CHILDREN'S STORY?



What do you think she means by it? ^_^;;

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Griffinkeeper
Comment
Griffinkeeper commented Comment · Sep 5, 2006

Words fail me.

User avatar
Dream Deep
Comment
Dream Deep commented Comment · Sep 2, 2006

I love it love it love it love it, a million times love it but then I think I already told you that. :wink:

Great job, Snow Pig.



~Dreamy ^_^



Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman