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Wet Dogs

by Snoink


They scurry beneath the wooden roof
their fat bodies glistening with diamonds
as they shiver together,
their eyes closed,
dreaming of Warmth
and Sunlight.

They have forgotten
what their wolfish family knows --
Nobody hides from the rain.


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Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:11 am
Kim says...



i liked it, the only thing i would change is the glistening like diamonds. it doesnt quite fit a dog theme. but other then that i enjoyed it.

kimi




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Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:55 pm
Snoink says...



M.B.Author wrote:Yeah! Wet dogs. So cute.

I don't know if this is bad, but when I read it, I tried to picture it. And I tried
to forget the title. And if I read this without reading the title, I probably
wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about. Think about it.

This is cute, I like it.

-- M.B.Author


That's why titles are so important. :)




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Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:08 pm
M.B.Author wrote a review...



Yeah! Wet dogs. So cute.

I don't know if this is bad, but when I read it, I tried to picture it. And I tried
to forget the title. And if I read this without reading the title, I probably
wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about. Think about it.

This is cute, I like it.

-- M.B.Author




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Sun May 20, 2007 1:14 am
AndNeverAgainx3 says...



that was really good! i liked it! was there any metaphorical meaning?




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Sun May 20, 2007 1:12 am
FUZZHEAD says...



I honestly don't know what to say--I really don't. I don't know what the heck I thought. I don't know if it was good, or bad, or weird, or strange, or supercalifragilistexpialidocious. I just don't know...didn't really understand it.




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Sat May 19, 2007 2:19 pm
oregongirl wrote a review...



I liked this little poem! Good Job! I love that it was talking about pigs! Great Job and keep it up! :D

:elephant:




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Sat May 19, 2007 11:57 am
Sohini says...



A nice light-mooded kind of poem that paints a picture.

now you should do a cat poem!!




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Fri May 18, 2007 11:28 pm
theron guard wrote a review...



Very cute! :P It was enjoyable, and not to long, making it just right. Keep up the good work! :)




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Fri Dec 22, 2006 4:51 am
Meshugenah wrote a review...



Oh, Snoinkus, I love it!

Now! Do I have permission to nitpick?

Lookee here (un idea! well, maybe):

They scurry beneath the wooden roof <<I agree with bubbles, here: beneath!
their fat bodies glistening as they shiver
(together) eyes closed, << Just playing here, in my usual manner of omitting every word I can possibly get away with. Horrible habit, really, but I love it. So! I like "together," but I don't.
dreaming of Warmth
and Sunlight.

Yes, I did have to nit-pick... it's my job! And I need the practice, so who better to practice on, but Snoinky? ;)

Oh gah. I love how the line "glistening with diamonds" fits, but it annoys me to no end (my cliche-o-metre perked up a bit at it, really...). So pooey. I don't know what to do with it. But I love it!

This ranks up there with Mme. Clarinet, I think. Definitely a good one (albeit a bit [s]dodgy[/s] doggy).




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Fri Dec 22, 2006 2:37 am
bubblewrapped wrote a review...



Snoinkles! I love it!

**steals poem**

No, but seriously. It's short, it's sweet, and it is definitely metaphorical - to me, anyway :lol:

If I were you, I'd think about maybe changing "underneath" to "beneath" -- it fits the rhythm better, to my eye. And I'm not sure about the capitalization of Warmth and Sunlight either, although I suppose they do make it seem Doggish, LOL.

Love the "glistening with diamonds" line, and the echo of "closed" in "knows" -- makes the ending just right.

Overall, I reckon this is my favourite of all your poems. :D Awesomeness!

Cheers,
~bubbles




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Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:01 pm
Snoink says...



Hehe... yeah, a little. At the time, when it was rainy and miserable, it seemed right, though, without the miserable sky and everything, it doesn't quite look right, LOL.




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Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:37 am
s_angel222 wrote a review...



I'm not sure about some of the metaphorical description such as "glistened with diamonds" while it sounds nice I don't know if it's quite right. HOWEVER, i enjoyed the poem, it rolls off your tongue when you read it, you can almost feel the slipperiness of the animals! Were you trying to personify "Warmth" and "Sunlight" in the capitalisation?




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Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:49 pm
Snoink says...



Well... it's not really that deep. I walk two beagles regularly, and they're really cute but they REALLY hate water. So once, when I walked them in the rain, they got soaked and, as soon as I let them off their leashes, they crawled under the woodpile and shivered there. And so the poor little dogs are spoiled beyond belief, but even they are not allowed to hide from the rain. :P

I guess it might be a metaphorical poem too? Who knows!

Glad you liked it. :D




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Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:07 pm
rodent wrote a review...



i liked the fat bodies part-though it would of been better if you said they glistend with sweat , or blood-or somthing thats excreeted from pores in skin- any way , its very short- could you tell us the deep hidden meaning or shall i keep searching :shock:

-rodent




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Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:40 am
Jiggity says...



Nice little poem Snoinkles, I quite like it. I didn't get the capitalization of warmth and sunlight; that threw me off a little. There seems to no point to it. Other then that, its good.

I like.





There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.
— Bram Stoker