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I don't know :P (and springrain chose the title, so ha!)

by Snoink


The person I really hate the most
Has gotta be the internet personality known as Toast!
So thus, this poem will be a scathing roast
About hatred spreading from coast to coast.

You could only be so bold
to tell me, when it was 100 degrees Fahrenheit, how cold
it was where you lived and that old
was the only word that could rhyme with this stanza...mold.

So... I can't think of any words so this is the end
And now things are said, hopefully we can bend
(and mend)
So that you'll still be my awesome friend.

HEART HEART LOVE LOVE BE MINE 4EVAS

- Snoink


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Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:52 am
Angels-Symphony wrote a review...



Ahh, a timeless poem xD *hits gold star*

Though there is absolutely nothing going on in this poem in particular, it has described "writer's block" and mocks the way some rhyme schemes "eat up the whole poem" ... And you talk about toast also xD There's an internet personality known as toast? I read this as a rap, and then I read it normally. I like it best as rap! The snoink rap (but it's the I don't know)

fjsdkfljsdlfjldsj
I'm still confused
-Shina




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Fri May 22, 2009 6:29 pm
Juniper wrote a review...



Few things! :P

This poem is on my bedroom wall.


My mom loves this, for some odd reason.


It actually got super hot here after you wrote this. xD Not instantly, but, it's like, burning over here now.

Before it got hot here, it got hot where Jon lives. I bragged about the cool, 42 degree weather we had here, and in turn got another hate-poem about how my cold should turn to roast.

This is made of win. We know this already, duh. It's featured. :P


x Toast




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Mon May 18, 2009 6:53 pm
Blift wrote a review...



You could only be so bold

to tell me, when it was 100 degrees Fahrenheit, how cold

it was where you lived and that old

was the only word that could rhyme with this stanza...mold.


Really boring rhymes, and is that bit about the weather meant to be an oxymoron, like how Shakespeare uses them?

Apart from that, the poem went well.




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Mon May 18, 2009 1:34 pm
Master_Yoda wrote a review...



Snoink!
:lol:

Snoink wrote:The person I really hate the most
Has gotta be the internet personality known as Toast!

Hey wait! I've been called Toast before... And I'm an internet personality. ;) Why you would hate June, though, I don't understand.

So thus, this poem will be a scathing roast
About hatred spreading from coast to coast.

Marvelous usage of enjambment. I was floored by it.

You could only be so bold
to tell me, when it was 100 degrees Fahrenheit, how cold
it was where you lived and that old
was the only word that could rhyme with this stanza...mold.

Okay... I didn't quite understand this stanza, but I have no doubt that there is some hidden poetic meaning to it. I will continue searching for it. And gold could rhyme with your stanza as well. (Just pointing that out. I do like the word mold though.)

So... I can't think of any words so this is the end

The repetition of the word so is effective, but I would place a comma after "words".

And now things are said, hopefully we can bend
(and mend)
So that you'll still be my awesome friend.

This is beautiful.

HEART HEART LOVE LOVE BE MINE 4EVAS

This is even better. I would however add several exclamation marks onto the end for emphasis.

Well Snoink, you've certainly got a unique personality. :)

Signing off...

Yoda




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Mon May 18, 2009 10:12 am
Reyu says...



wow




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Mon May 18, 2009 7:41 am
mynameisTyler wrote a review...



Wow. This is a really interesting poem. It is short and simple, and incredibly entertaining. You've certainly nailed how to stimulate a intellectual humor. I am amazed by the depth of this poem despite how simply it is written.

Keep at it!
-Tyler




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Mon May 18, 2009 5:19 am
peanutgallery007 says...



LoL Snoinksterz! I don't think anyone else could possibly write a better poem than that for June, xD . It's too funny and awesome. Great job! 8)

~April




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Mon May 18, 2009 4:13 am
Teague wrote a review...



This is truly an amazing poem.


The person I really hate the most

Has gotta be the internet personality known as Toast!

So thus, this poem will be a scathing roast

About hatred spreading from coast to coast.


I love how this stanza introduces a conflict. This is obviously a metaphor for someone who has found themselves estranged from God. A veritable cornucopia of misdirected hatred has caused the speaker to distance themselves from religion. The hatred spreads from "coast to coast," implying that it is a vast and deep amount of anger poured into the wrong direction, as demonstrated by later stanzas. And obviously, the reference to "Toast" is symbolic -- toast is something to be loved, something to be enjoyed, much like God, and yet the speaker tells of a deep, vast hatred for toast. Yet roasting is, in a sense, exactly what you should do to create toast, so obviously we're heading for a change in position here -- enlightenment, if I dare say so.



You could only be so bold

to tell me, when it was 100 degrees Fahrenheit, how cold

it was where you lived and that old

was the only word that could rhyme with this stanza...mold.


Obviously, the high temperatures are a result of hell, which is where the speaker must be feeling is his/her current location. This is a result of the distance from God and religion, which everybody knows is a surefire (pardon the pun) way to gain entrance into hell. This is clearly a conversation with God, since it must be cooler in heaven than it is in hell, which is presumably what the speaker desires, since the poem says that speaking of the temperature in heaven is "bold." The speaker's misdirected anger makes them feel as if God is mocking them, spiting them, when in reality, God is trying to build a bridge to re-establish a connection with the speaker. And hell is a dirty, mouldy place, while heaven is nicer, cooler, and God is something of a wise old man who lives in happiness, and is trying to inform the speaker that they could too, if they would only re-establish the connection between themselves and God.


So... I can't think of any words so this is the end

And now things are said, hopefully we can bend

(and mend)

So that you'll still be my awesome friend.


This stanza is quite beautiful. It is a confession of the change of heart the speaker has experienced as a result of re-established dialogue with God. The speaker feels a little guilty for being so angry with God and so hateful, and almost like an admonished child, they ask for forgiveness. The speaker requests that God be their "awesome friend," implying that the speaker's anger and hatred have settled down and they are willing to be friends with God, become believers, and leave hell. It is a sign of hope, a sign that things are going to change. This happy outcome leaves the reader with a feeling of hope and happiness.


HEART HEART LOVE LOVE BE MINE 4EVAS


Such a short stanza expresses so much! With newfound reconciliation with God, the speaker has replaced their deep and immense hatred with love and kindness. The juxtaposition here is priceless -- at the beginning, we began with a message of hatred, but here we conclude with a message of love. This demonstrates that the two are not as different as we think; but rather, are cousins that we must accept as part of life. Quite a wonderful message, really, and the world would be a better place if we all would just accept that and get along and hold hands and sing campfire songs.

Ah well.

Wonderful poem, really.

*stars*

Teague
x

P.S.: How's it feel?




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Mon May 18, 2009 4:00 am
muunilist10 says...



I'm just going to say I have no clue what's going on in this... I don't know who toast is, but this poem made me smile, and scratch my head.




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Mon May 18, 2009 3:56 am
Clo wrote a review...



The topic of this poem is timeless, and should be the subject of many odes and epic tales. The last line is particularly genius, as it is a sentiment that we all share.

So... genius/brilliant/praiseworthy/so on and so forth!

At least those things pertain to the person it's about. ;)

Oh yes... epic review...

~ Clo





Being a hero doesn't mean you're invincible. It just means that you're brave enough to stand up and do what's needed.
— Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena