Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General

E - Everyone

Nayleth Drequinn

by DeerInBacPac


Never again will I trust another. 

And yet, you pop up. 

Yellow, Blue, White, the color of you three. 

Lets see, another might agree, 

Even Death has a place in this odd company. 

To one and the same, I am insane. 

Honestly, you think I would last without the rest of me?

Authors note - This is to help me understand my character for my novel Something More, Something Unique Chapter 1 better. Her name is Nayleth. I will also do one for Griffin,  the second main character, as well as J and Sully. 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
206 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 206

Donate
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:36 pm
DeerInBacPac says...



@RavenLord

Don't ask why I tagged you. I don't really know and I hope you don't mind that I did.




User avatar
364 Reviews


Points: 15980
Reviews: 364

Donate
Thu Nov 16, 2017 2:20 pm
zaminami wrote a review...



Hello Flumadiddle! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

Spoiler! :
Never again will I trust another.

And yet, you pop up.

Yellow, {b}lue, {w}hite, the color of you three.

Let{'}s see, another might agree,

Even that Death has a place in this odd company. {This sentence is weirdly worded grammar-wise}

To one and the same, I am insane. {Same though}

Honestly, {do} you think I would last without the rest of me?


My interpretation:



Well it's just a poem about Nayleth, ain't it?

Overall:



Overall, I liked. I could imagine this as a poem about yourself. Great job and keep up the great work!

Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --

Kara

Image


This review courtesy of
Image




DeerInBacPac says...


I have the colors capitilized so that they stand out more, so that there meaning emphasied.



DeerInBacPac says...


I JUST READ OVER THIS AND YOU SAID THIS COULD BE A POEM ABOUT ME PLEASE ELABORATE.



User avatar
58 Reviews


Points: 199
Reviews: 58

Donate
Thu Nov 16, 2017 2:08 pm
IzzyIsHappy wrote a review...



Hey Em, Izzy here for a review!

I really like this, and it makes your character look like an actual person in the story, gives it some personality (I have yet to read Something More, Something Unique yet but I will)
I think this talks about someone breaking trust, and then someone new comes along, and they chose to trust again...and then it mentions death and I get lost haha

Overall, I love this and I hope you write more acrostics!

Izzy




DeerInBacPac says...


I have been working on this story for over a year so one of the characters that will come in later will be Grim. My picture and persona onthis cite and my story is pure coincidence.



User avatar
206 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 206

Donate
Thu Nov 16, 2017 2:38 am
DeerInBacPac says...



@DemonGoddess @LordTachanka @Saruka @woahhitherepal @DarkPandemonium @Steggy @WhosabellCanWrite




IzzyIsHappy says...


I loveeeee thissss



DeerInBacPac says...


:3 like it? Give it star?



IzzyIsHappy says...


YES SORRY I FORGOT I'M A BAD FRIEND



DeerInBacPac says...


ARE NOT



IzzyIsHappy says...


OKAY THANKS



RavenLord says...


Wow.



DeerInBacPac says...


@RavenLord, whats with the wow?



RavenLord says...


It's good!







It takes as much imagination to create debt as to create income.
— Leandro Orr