I'm pretty sure they were peach-colored
all those mistakes
I'm certain they had a tinge
of white wine
and a thin coating of cane syrup
I think
I remember them as being plump
or maybe they were just a bit “big”
with a cute button nose
I know we made them together
I saw them as sugar
you saw them as spice
I could never tell if that spice
was cinnamon or
crushed red pepper
Do you remember
when they first appeared?
Do you remember
the first words they spoke?
Those mistakes
tried to break us but
they were sticks and
we were stones.
I'm pretty sure they were peach-colored
All those mistakes
but I have my favorite
and you have yours
my favorite is the peach colored,
the sugar coated, wine tinged
baby in my arms
Do you want to hold her?
Our precious mistake?
I promise
she'll be your favorite too.
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,514 Reviews
Pretty impressive, I'll be reviewing your poetry today. So here's some things starting out:
I'm pretty sure they were peach-colored
all those mistakes
I'm certain they had a tinge
of white wine
and a thin coating of cane syrup
I really like this opening in your poem, it flows really well.
I know we made them together
I saw them as sugar
you saw them as spice
I could never tell if that spice
was cinnamon or
crushed red pepper
I think if you could just take out the last three lines, its kind of abrupt I think.
I'm pretty sure they were peach-colored
All those mistakes
but I have my favorite
and you have yours
Agian, really like this. It flows nicely.
my favorite is the peach colored,
the sugar coated, wine tinged
baby in my arms
Do you want to hold her?
Our precious mistake?
I promise
she'll be your favorite too
BAM! Love how this ends. The meaning and significance is there, and relieved it's not an typical love poem. I commend you. The only thing that I would change is some of the punctuation, and the flow gets a just a little jerky in some places. Otherwise, good job and keep writing!
Hey there, emmylou1995. My name is Scarlett and I'll be reviewing your poetry this afternoon!
Oh, wow. This is amazing, emmylou1995. Simply amazing. Such a lovely, deep, meaningful poem. <3 I love it, absolutely adore it. It just flows oh, so well. I love the story you tell here. It's beautiful yet kind of sad, but wonderful none-the-less.
I think the only problem I have here is your lack of punctuation. It makes it a little confusing when reading if you can't see where the pauses are, other than the obvious line breaks. I suggest you edit those in. It'll definitely help to improve the poem. And now, I don't think I have anything more to say. It's good and with a few little fiddles, it'll be better, but I like it so far, and that's a good thing. Sooo, that's it now. This is an wonderful little poem. Thanks for the beautiful poetry! I hope this review helps, somehow. ^^
Remember; keep it up and never stop writing!
~Scar. <3