What have you done to me?
A haze of chaos as affections shudder.
Once we experienced wonder,
innocent and childlike,
but your love drifted away.
A clouded vision of memory -
emotions follow pain, follow hate,
love burnt to ashes.
In a torrent of sorrow,
I still love you.
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Hello there, emmylou1995!
I like this poem. You did really nice with it and managed to show what you wanted to say/the story that was going on quite well. =D
I can't wait to see more of your stuff! Keep up the great work and let me know if you ever need anything.
~Heather
Thanks, Everyone!
This is the poem of a first love. A first love can seem like the only one. You grow and you change yet that person remains and you are constantly wondering, what if? This poem is told honestly. The emotions you qrite about are truly from the heart. My favprite line "emotion follows pain, follows hate" very intriguing. This poem read easily and had a unique flow to it. I am impressed. Good Work!
I can see the story you're portraying with this, which is a sad one, obviously, and a story very frequently portrayed in the media. I like it, but the beat is strange. Read it aloud and see if it sounds right. Other than that, I've found no forseeable problems. keep writing!