Blue
Flying.
The waves of an ocean,
a robins egg,
the cloud-filled sky.
Crying.
A whispered prayer,
the mist over the mountains,
the rippling pond water.
Believing.
A childs sleeping form,
the fragrance of a loved one...
...a stepmothers laugh.
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Canary word: Present
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139,362 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Hello! I just wanted to say that this is a very unique poem. Quite interesting! I could tell that you were naming things that were colored blue and things that relate to blue. These are nice images you've described for us, such as the waves of an ocean and the cloud-filled sky. However, it would be great if you focused more on these images and explained more about these images and if they have a connection, that way, there's more to these images than just having the color blue or being related to blue. For example, you could try to connect them to life or something.
Although, I applaud you for your imagery. It causes the reader to visualize like "the rippling pond water" and "the mist over the mountains." Also, I just noticed you use ellipses at the end of the poem. I think you shouldn't do that because it makes it look like there is more to the poem than just what you wrote. For example, "the fragrance of a loved one..." The ellipses at the end of this line indicate that there is more after this line. Another example is "...a stepmothers laugh." This indicates that there is more before this line. So, I think you should remove the ellipses.
Lastly, I think the title of this poem should be changed because the word "chronicles" means a history or a chronological record of events. If you want to keep the title, you should probably try to make these images connect to history or have to do with events in history. If you don't want to keep this title, you should probably change the title of this poem.
Overall, this is a very unique poem. It kinda reminds me of my poetry. We have almost a similar style. Keep writing poetry!
Well, It's creatively Unique!
i loved it..... Keep up, can't wait for more pieces!
Hello! First of all * like*! This was certainly...unusual. Perhpas better described unique. I loved the fact that I had no idea what you were talking about but it was still so lovely and beautiful. Well done. No gramatical errors to speak of. Thanks for producing such a great piece. Thanks,
~ Amelia