Evil Queen! You're early! What can I do for you?
"I have kidnapped your brother-"
"Uh, yeah. If you want him back, you're going to have to let me tell the story MY WAY!"
Not a chance in Grimm, Evil Queen.
"Let me remind you, I have your brother. He is quite hungry, and will most certainly eat anything I give him. Including, uh, well, apple."
"Haha, the tables have turned, and so has the tide! You're in my clutches now."
"Er- Hello? Is this Ms. Narrators residence?"
"Why, yes, it is. I was just blackmailing her."
"Ooo, goody. My favorite hobby."
Evil Stepmother... Please... You must have some good in your heart!
"Well, now that everyones here, I think we can get on with the story. What do you say, Evil Stepmother?"
"I say, let's get on with it!"
"Once upon a time...
There lived a young girl named Ella."
"Who was super ugly, I should add!"
"She was not ugly. We're not doing another Ugly Duckling!"
"Ugly Duckling? You mean the one who wanted to be pretty?"
"Not in Ms. Narrators story. That's why I've kidnapped her brother."
Will he be alright?
"As long as you keep your mouth shut."
"Ellas mother died when she was young. Her Father and her were devastated, but her Father gave Ella all the love he could."
Unlike the Good King, you jerk.
He eventually remarried to a kind woman. And two, kind children.
But Ella had become a spoiled brat."
What!? But- But Ella was kind! You can't do that!
"I'm the Evil Queen, I can do anything."
"Hahaha, what's that cute little face she's making?"
I'm giving you the stink eye.
"May I please get on with the story?"
"Ellas Father died in an unfortunate accident. And as devastated as she was, Ellas Stepmother took it into her own hands to humble the child, she gave her mote chores then her own children, simply because she wanted Ella to learn a lesson."
"So sorry to interrupt, but when do we give her the nickname Ella?"
"Shut your communications hole, and you'll find out."
"Ella always screamed, yelled, and hit. Whenever her Stepmother came searching for her, she would run into the fireplace to hide, earning her the name 'Cinderella'"
"For years, it went on like this, with Cinderella ruining her stepfamilies lives, until one fatefull morning..."
"The narrator the knocked the Evil Queen and Evil Stepmother out, and went to find where she was keeping her brother?"
"Ha, no. While Ellas Stepmother was out in the gardens, the Evil Queen appeared."
"Poor woman, living your life in sorrow. Your heart is as pure as-"
"Fire, Shadows? Something cool like that please."
"As Gold, I shall grant you one wish." Said the Evil Queen.
TO FREE MY BROTHER!
Ellas Stepmother thought for a moment. "For my daughter to marry the prince."
"Of course, the Evil Queen wouldn't just do a favor for someone like that."
No, she wouldn't.
"She laughed, as she disappeared, and reappeared in front of their door, she slid a letter through saying, 'You have been invited to the Ball' As she disappeared to prepare for-"
"Wait, wait, wait, you're TRICKING me? How dare you! I outta-"
"A couple days later, Cinderella found herself grounded, and unable to go to the Ball. She watched sadly as her Stepfamily road off into the distance. She sadly wandered into the garden, where she found a mysterious figure waiting."
"Poor, poor girl. You want to go to the Ball, but your family wont allow it, will they?" Said the Evil Queen, adding sugar into her voice. "Why shouldn't you go to the Ball? You're just as pretty as they? Are you not?" Indeed, Cinderella Was very pretty.
Cinderella nodded, staring at the Evil Queen in disbelief, "Who are you?" She asked. The Evil Queen laughed.
"I am you're Fairy God Mother, and I'm here to ruin- I mean, renovate your story. Now get me an orange, and let me work my magic."
The Evil Queen turned the orange into a coach, Cinderellas rags to a gown, and gave her fluffy fur slippers that said, "Je suis totalemant pas mal" On the toes. Cinderella didn't know very much French, but that's what she thought it was."
Wait, didn't Cinderella come from France?
"Cinderella thanked her "Fairy God Mother" And hurried into her coach and off to the ball. She didn't see The Evil Queen as she left."
"Hahaha! This is perfect! The Prince will marry Cinderella, and I will have finally have beaten Rumplestilskin at the best April Fools Joke. Hahahaha!"
"Hey, Sis, can you make me a bagel?"
YOU MEAN YOUR NOT CAPTURED?!
"WAIT, Slow down!"
IT IS TOO LATE, THE GREATEST POWER A NARRATOR POSESSES IS READY TO BE RELEASED! NOW THAT I CAN USE IT WITHOUT CONSQUENSE, I WILL!
"Evil Stepmother! Let's get out of here, before she blows!"
"I DON'T NEED TELLING TWICE!"
Are they gone?
Haha, works like a charm.
'Sis? Where's my bagel?"
Give me a second, Bro.
Cinderella made it to the castle, and met the prince. However, unlike Cinderella, he could read French.
"So, uh, your not Evil, then?" He asked.
"Oh, is that what they say? That's funny." Cinderella said.
Cinderella smiled to herself, when she was with him, she felt like she needed to be good, for him.
When the night was over, the prince asked to see her again. And they did, they spent more and more time together, and finally got married, and settled down. And Cinderella was never bad again, and she let her step family life with her in the castle.
Well, that was quite a roller coaster. I'm quite glad the Evil Queen didn't actually kidnap my brother. That could've ended in disaster!
"SIS! HELP! TWO CREEPY LADY ARE KIDNAPING ME, AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR THAT BAGAL, AND-"
I AM NEVER INVITING YOU FOR TEA AGAIN!