Once upon a time...
"Ruining Fairy tails, again, I see."
Ah, Evil Queen, I thought you had stopped coming for tea.
"Yeah, well Evil Queens can change their minds."
"I knew you liked me! You're just in time for The True Story of the Ugly Duckling, too! Sit your royal bum down, and hush."
"YOU CAN NOT SILENCE ME!!!!"
Once upon a time, in a swamp, far, far away...
There lived a very... Um... Narcistic Duck. His name was Billy. But he insisted everyone called him King Ugly Duck.
"Wait, didn't the Ugly Duckling want to be pretty?"
Oh, yeah. I always assumed he was your reincarnation. But then I met you, so he simply Couldn't be you. So I may or may not have played with his personality a bit.
"You can't do that!"
I can do anything. I'm the narrator!
Anyway, King Ugly Duck spent his days shouting,
"ALL FEAR THE GREAT AND POWERFUL UGLY DUCK!!!"
I think it's obvious that he didn't make many friends that way.
One morning, he woke up to find that he was turning BEAUTIFUL!
"No!" The ugly duck shouted, "This cannot be!"
And you know what he did?
He went to talk to the wise old owl, and asked, "Wise old owl, wise old owl, up there in the tree. How can I make myself the ugliest a naked eye can see?"
"Huh, I wonder which fairy tale you took that from."
Yeah, I wondered that, too.
The owl answered, "Pretty Duck, your situation must suck. To become the ugliest in the land, you must travel across all five seas, and acers, too. You must travel to Kansas, and go to KFC, and get a golden egg, hatch it, and inside will be a parakeet. Then play chess against it, and don't cheat!"
"That hardly rhymed!"
I know, I can't copy the magic mirror completely.
"YOU LITTERLY ALREADY HAD!"
Shut up, you big ugly Pufferfish, who has the niceness of a hungry hippo, as well as the size. You have the intelligence of Malifacent!
"What was that?"
You have the intel-
Chill, I can take a hint.
"Take Mother Goose, Dumbo, and Puss with you, they might help." The Wise Old Owl said. King Ugly Duck groaned.
"But those losers aren't ugly at all!" He said. But the wise old owl wouldn't change his mind. Besides, it was his only hope to become ugly again!
"Don't forget to get me something from KFC!" The wise old owl shouted as they left.
I'ma going to pretend I didn't hear that.
It was a long, and horrible journey. They traveled for miles, and miles. And King Ugly Duck complained the whole way.
"''Oh, my feet are sore, and my head hurts, boo hoo.'"
No, he actually was complaining that his coffee was to hot. Though, your imitation of the Ugly Duckling is really good.
"First of all, he had coffee, second of all, how was he even drinking it WHILE flying?"
Oh, he wasn't flying. He was riding Dumbo.
They finally made it to KFC. It was like, uh... It was like you finally seeing Snow White dead, Evil Queen.
"How could getting to KFC compare to complete and utter revenge?"
It did to them.
They pulled up to the drive through.
"I want sprite!" Cried King Ugly Duck. Puss coughed.
"Oh, and a golden egg, too."
The human inside nodded and gave him his order. King Ugly Duck lifted the egg in victory-
Before dropping it.
"Haha, um... Can we get another one?" King Ugly Duck asked.
"Do you have ten thousand dollars?"
King Ugly Duck gasped,
"Money?" He cried in dismay.
The cashier nodded. "Golden eggs aren't cheap, you know. If you don't want to buy another one, you still need to pay us five thousand dollars.
"And what did he do?"
Not what he did, what Mother Goose did! After a groan, a Golden egg popped into view.
Everyone stared at it, shocked. "What the QUACK?" Said King Ugly Duck. "We did all that for nothing?"
Mother Goose shook her head, "Nah, we needed a golden egg from KFC. At least we can pay, now." Mother Goose gave the cashier the golden egg, and flew off, followed by everyone else. Distantly, they heard the cashier cry out;
"THIS IS AN EASTER EGG!"
Everyone thought they saw Mother Goose smile.
When they returned home, poor wise old owl was so disappointed when he found out they didn't get him KFC, Puss was annoyed he wasted his time, Mother Goose was now on the run for robbery, and King Ugly Duck, well, he was the saddest of all.
When they returned home, he began to glow. His feathers disappeared, revealing pearly white feathers, his short and stout neck grew long and thin. His stubby little wings grew long, and powerful. When he saw himself, he-
"Cursed the narrator for ruining the story?"
NO, he said,
"What the QUACK, QUACKITY QUACK. WHAT A BUNCH OF QUACK!"
"Yeah, sure, that's a great way to end a fairy tale."
I'm glad you think so. I put a lot of effort into it.
"You do realize I was being sarcastic?"
You do realize I was too, right?
You know, I was thinking we invite the Evil Stepmother next time. You know, for the true story of Cinderella.
AAAANNND send. It's over, it's done. The Evil Stepmother is coming.
"You foolish mortal."
Shout out to my Bestest friends in the whole world who acted out The True Story of The Ugly Duckling with me. It was fun to WING a story with you guys! : D