Ala scribbles happily, drawing a cool sun, with cool sun glasses.
She frowned.
Something was off. Something was missing. A shiver ran down her spine. She
paused for a moment-
Ah! She needed to add some clouds! That was it.
Ala stood up, admiring her newest masterpiece, before beginning to make her way to the teacher, to show off her artistic talent, of course.
But alas, the path to victory is never clear, and before her stands her Arch Nemesis, Tiana.
“What is that?” The Evil Gremlin asked, pointing at Ala’s drawing. “It looks like an unprepossessing lily-livered blight upon Homo Sapiens.”
Ala shook her head in confusion, “What do those words even mean?” She paused, “Wait, never mind, since they are coming from your mouth, they probably mean something stupid.” She stepped out of Tiana’s way, feeling her insides curdle with annoyance, even more so when Tiana’s eyes gleamed.
She was halfway across the classroom before she stopped. Crumpling up her paper, and tore off the corner. It wasn’t like she cared what Tiana thought anyway.
Ala looked
around for something to do, when the computers caught her eye.
They were all filled up, so she decided to watch one of them play through. Not
like she had anything better to do anyway.
She pulled up a seat next to a boy her age… Henry was his name, she thought. He shot her a curious glance.
“Hey Ala!” He said over his shoulder. “Have you tried the newest game on here yet?”
Ala peered over his shoulder, before brimming with excitement.
“My Little Pony!” She exclaimed.
Henry wrinkled his nose, “No way, this is much cooler!”
As he showed Ala all the cool mechanics of the new game, Ala slowly began to uncrumple her drawing.
Maybe Preschool wouldn’t be so bad, now that she had a friend.
It had been
a week since she properly met Henry, and, in Ala’s personal opinion, it had
been the best yet!
He had all the same interests as her, (Though he wasn’t likely to admit it)
from Mermaids, Drawing, and, of course, My Little Pony.
Everyday, they’d find their little corner of the Classroom, grab their chalk, and doodle on the board.
Of course, it wasn’t long before Tiana and her gang of Girls picked up the whiffs of happiness.
As Ala waved Henry goodbye, a hand was placed on her shoulder.
“Ala.” Tiana said, as sternly as a five-year-old could muster, “We need to talk.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
WELL HELLO
Hope you're doing well! <3 I'm so glad I get to see Ala again, but with a fresher version, and an,, older,, Horisun? I don't know how to say it, but I'm happy I get to go through Ala's story again. I still remember the last chapter of the first draft and eek that makes me so happy hehe ^^'' I'm excited to see what changes/edits there's going to be in the new chapters!
I wonder if I can recall scenes from the first draft? hmmaww I love how this is so cute and innocent xD
yes!!! I remember Tiana!! The Evil Gremlin xD
THAT COMEBACK LOL but also so innocent omg she doesn't even know what it means xD It seems pretty weird though, for a five year old to know words like that @_@ who am I to judge though, Tiana's probably smart!!
#LifeAsAPreschooler
Ahhh it's HENRY <3 <3
Spoiler
those innocent days when you would exchange two kind words with someone and they'd automatically be your bestie for restie 🥺
gang of Girls - caps? spicyyy
That ending is so dramatic and I can't help but giggle, because imagining five-year-olds (maybe even four-year-olds) being all sassy like that is the most adorable thing and just ahh it's killing me xD
The pacing was decent in the beginning but after that, I feel like it started to get a bit rushed. One second Ala was done making her drawing, the next second poof Henry's her new friend! In my opinion, there's two reasons for this: a) there's not much description in the chapter, y'know? Like, probably show us Ala's expressions, Tiana's expressions, how does Henry look like? Is the teacher old? Young? Stuff like that, y'know? b) The chapter is pretty short. It's people's own choice to keep their chapter shorter or longer, this is just a personal opinion, and you can choose to ignore it if you'd like! <3
Anyway, that's pretty much it for this review! Hope it helped! ^^ Lemme know if you have any questions regarding this. c: I'll try my best to get to the next chapter soon, probably tomorrow. :')
Wishing you a singing, dancing good time <3
~Lib
Thank you for the review! It's super weird to be writing for these characters again, but I'm having a blast, so I'm really glad that you enjoyed this!
Yeah, I bet it is! ^^" Your very welcome :')
Hey Alice is here to give a review!!!!
After reading this new version of Least Romantic, I am curious to read the previous one's chapters. It was a very fun read. And there are no grammatical mistakes as far as I can see.
Was a five year old saying this. I was so stupid at this age.
I am very excited to see where this story will lead because they are just five year olds.
Bye!!!