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Warning: There Is A Severe Plot Twist At The End

by Horisun


Character 2A wandered down an empty hall. Spiderwebs covered every corner, and the lights flickered like in a horror movie.

Character 2A stopped in front of a door, it was twice her height and width. She looked at it with great interest.

Warning: There is a severe plot twist at the end of this door. Do not enter unless you have approval from the Authors.

Character 2A laughed. Approval from the Authors? They were the ones who;

1. Caused a curse that made her loved one to turn to a toad.

2. Basically burned down her house.

3. And were responsible for herself and her sister to be fighting on different sides of the battlefield.

Besides, a little peek wouldn't hurt anyone.

Character 2A reached for the door handle, and slowly turned it. The door creaked like it hadn't been open for years, maybe decades. This made Character 2A even more curious.

She slowly pushed it open, and stepped inside. It was pitch black inside. Character 2A took a breath, before plunging into the darkness.

Nothing happened.


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105 Reviews


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Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:38 am
silvermoon17 wrote a review...



This is what I call a short story! And a beautiful one at that 🤩
I’m impressed of how little you wrote for such story. Some say it’s too short.. but then.. what are they doing at the short story section? I think it illustrates perfectly what a short story must be. Striking, memorable, thoughtful, adventurous and mysterious at the same time. I loge how you set the tone, how you make us ask question, who, what, where, why.. all that kind. I love the originality, it’s rare when a character actually stands up to its creator, as if a man standing up to a God; even if it’s something as simple as open a restricted access door. I love how you end, with a “nothing happened” because, at the very beginning we expected something grand and memorable- and strangely, nothing only appeals more to the fantasy and mysterious aspect of this *twist*. It fulfills what we expected, the restricted access from authors; being the limitless imagination (thus, nothing)- that place is restricted to characters since they are not given an imagination; that’s why this place holds higher treasures than a place full of acient stuff. No, this is a great short story.




Horisun says...


:D thank you!



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Thu May 16, 2019 12:50 pm
rrrRandomNoob says...



This story was a little too short for my tastes, but that’s just my person opinion. I like the story, after I realized the ‘twist’ after a minute or two. At first, I was a little confused 😛.
Overall, very clever and enjoyable. I just wished there was more of it!




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Wed May 08, 2019 2:47 am
Tawsif wrote a review...



Amazing idea, Horisun! It really piqued all my interest.

I see Miraculor77 has already spotted many technical things. I have only one more thing:

'Caused a curse that made her loved one to turn to a toad.'

If you tried to mean here that the lover transformed into a toad, then you should change the 'to' with 'into'. And let me know what you tried to mean here.

I think this was a brilliant idea. Perhaps you can write a longer story based on it. Like a story where the characters of a book are presented as real-life people who get to live their lives in the way the writers/authors want them to. It could add more fantasy and drama into the plot.

Once again, really good work! Keep writing.




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Mon May 06, 2019 10:34 pm
Miraculor77 wrote a review...



Hi! Mira here for a review.

I'm just gonna go paragraph by paragraph here.

Paragraph 2:

Character 2A stopped in front of a door, it was twice her height and width. She looked at it with great interest.


Here, I think the first sentence is very choppy. To smooth it out, consider putting the two clauses together: Character 2A stopped in front of a door that was twice her height and width. Or, you can change the punctuation: Character 2A stopped in front of a door; it was twice her height and width.

Paragraph 3:
Warning: There is a severe plot twist at the end of this door. Do not enter unless you have approval from the Authors.


This sentence is fine, but I would write it as "There is a severe plot twist on the other side of this door" because you can't go to "the end of" a door. You open it and step through.

Paragraph 4:
Character 2A laughed. Approval from the Authors? They were the ones who;


I like the satirical sense of humor here. The list of reasons she provides and the way she writes them below really add to her personality. Here, you should change the semi-colon (;) to a colon (:) because it fits with the context better.

By the way, I am counting the list parts as individual paragraphs, which are fine. Henceforth, I will skip to:

Paragraph 9:
Character 2A reached for the door handle, and slowly turned it. The door creaked like it hadn't been open for years, maybe decades. This made Character 2A even more curious.


You should take out the comma from the first sentence because right now it seems very choppy. The rest of the paragraph is good.

Paragraph 10:
She slowly pushed it open, and stepped inside. It was pitch black inside. Character 2A took a breath, before plunging into the darkness.


Again, take the comma out. It would make the sentence flow better. I make the same mistake myself many times, so I know just how common it can be. For the third sentence, you should also take out the comma. If you want to keep it, consider wording it a bit differently: Character 2A took a breath, before plunging herself into the darkness. or Character 2A took a breath, just before plunging into the darkness.

Overall, I enjoyed the story. It is short but gets to the point very quickly, which is a skill I don't seem to have (look at the length of this review!).

Keep writing,
Mira




Horisun says...


Thanks! :D




Veni, vidi, scripsi ~ I came, I saw, I wrote
— steampowered