Authors Note: Sorry this took so long... I just busted through a big giant wall of writers block. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Ala jumped from the car, and ran to the entrance as fast has her little legs could carry her. Her Daddy followed her from a distance, chuckling guiltily as Ala pulled at the door, her spaghetti arms barely opening it enough for a mouse.
Ala, feeling desperate, began banging on the door.
"Open up! It's an emergency! Hurry, hurry!" She cried.
Her Daddy quickly opened the door for Ala, who brushed past him, quickly mumbling thank you. She ran down the hall to the cafeteria, where everyone was eating their breakfast.
Her teacher smiled at her, and had started to say good morning, but Ala quickly interrupted. "Where's Henry?" She asked, her eyes darting from one place to the next.
"He's over there, talking to Tiana."
"What?"
Ala ran to where Mrs. Vicky pointed, and sure enough, she saw Henry sitting with Tiana and her friends.
"You can't be friends with Ala anymore."
"Yeah, actually, I can."
"No, you can't."
"Yes, I can."
"No."
"Yeah."
"No."
"Yeah."
"No."
"Yes he can!" Ala said. "We can be friends with whoever we want!"
"But you guys always play together!" Tiana said, swiveling her head three-sixty degrees.
"So?" Ala said.
"So you can't be friends!" Tiana raised her voice, and some of the other kids turned to see what drama was unfolding.
"But- but," Ala said.
"You gotta give other people a chance to hang out with you, and besides, you can't be best friends with him!" Tiana said.
"Tianas right, Ala, you can't be friends with him." Jackie said, nodding her head in agreement.
"Seriously? How does that make any sense?" Henry tried to shout over the mumbling, but no one seemed to hear him.
Mrs. Vicky looked up from one of the other children. "Quiet down over there!" She said.
But it didn't help, "Yeah, Henry, why are you friends with a girl anyway?" One of the boys asked.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hello, it's me again FlamingPhoenix, or IcyFireyPhoenix either one is fine, lol. As you no I am here to drop off a review for you, so let's begin.
So this story just took an interesting turn, and I'm really interested to see how it ends up going. I'm really surprised Tiana pounced on Henry that fast, I thought she should give Ala time to think about what she had said, but they are kids after all and when they want something they normally try and do anything they can to get it, and I'm really starting to see that in this story.
I am a little shocked that other kids began to jump in and tell Ala and Henry off, they thought the other kids would have stood up to Tiana and told her to back off, well I guess Tiana is little miss popular, and she has everyone wrapped around her little finger.
I wonder what Henry's response will be to the boy who asked him why he was playing with a girl? And that I have to find out.
So this was a really good chapter, your punctuation is really good by the way. Anyway I hope you keep writing this story and post again soon. Have a great day or night either one is fine. Never stop writing.
Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix
Reviewing with a fiery passion!!
Oh no!!! Well at least Ala made it in time to be part of the fight. Poor kids; a beautiful friendship ruined by peer pressure. I think that Tiana watched too many movies with cliques and groups. That and she is probably jealous like Ala's mother said. I like how you were able to combine the drama of a high school in a kindergarten setting and managed to make it so believable! I can totally see this happening. Great job and keep writing!
-Shieldmaiden
Heyo Horisun!
Hope you're ding well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you are on. I'm here for the last review - for now. I really hope this isn't the last chapter. The question at the end is killing me. Also, that last question is so mean. Anyhoo, let's dig right in to the review, now shall we?
So what? You're just jealous, stupid-pants. *sticks out tongues*
The bold word is supposed to have an apostrophe before the last "s".
*Punches boy* Shut up! HENRY CAN BE FRIENDS WITH FREAKING WHOEVER! Oh my god, I swear, these kids... I will kill 'em all! Lol, I won't kill any of them. You need them in your story till the very end.
Speaking of end, my review will end here. I can't wait to read the next chapter! I hope this review helped in one way or the other. Of course, if you've got any questions, feel free to ask.
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
Finally the next chap. Oh!!thank god at least she got to the school. A few mistakes i noticed
?You mean as fast as her little legs.
Lol!!Spaghetti arms
It would be bettr if it was[b]Her teacher smiled and was about to say good morning but Ala quickly interrupted her[/quote]
Why can't he be friends with her you jealoused maniac. The conversation betwween Tiana and Henry though the kind when by done by teens gets treated to Stop acting like Todddlleerrss!!
I loved this chap like always
Keep up the Excellent Work
peace out