Hello my dear friend, FlamingPhoenix here with yet again another review for you on this warm night.
Right let's get to it.
So in this chapter I did pick up on some things that can be fixed to make it better. So let's get right to it shall we?
Okay so here is the first one that I saw.
where they were hidden from Alas line of sight.
Okay so the word in bold is what I would like to talk about. So Ala in her name right? So you should have an apostrophe between the A and the S. It's just a simple mistake I do all the time, so you don't need to worry over it.
Okay let's move onto the next thing I saw.
"Tiana could be saying anything to him, anything."
Okay so I'm talking about the word in bold again. So there isn't anything wrong with it. But I have something to say that will make this sentence have more emotion. So instead of a full-stop you should put an exclamation there instead, so it brings across the worry she has.
Right that's all I could see that needs to be fixed.
So this chapter was filled with lot's of things I didn't see coming! But I'll get to some of them soon.
First it's good to see Jenny and Ala getting along really well, it's really sweet seeing them become close friends, though we haven't got to meet Jackie yet, I wonder what she is like, is she mean like Tiana or sweet like Jenny? Just so many things could happen.
Anyway it was sweet seeing them be kind of like Ninja sneaking around to room. I just had am image of to kids dressed in all black masks over their face sneaking around, it really did give me a good laugh.
And I'm sure Henry said "I don't love you Tiana." But Ala just heard the end of the sentence. And gosh does Tiana play the part of being a little bully really well. She just kissed Henry because she saw Ala and Jenny.
I really want to say some mean things about her but that wouldn't be very nice, just no she is rubbing me up the wrong way!!!! *mad*
I wonder if Ala will ever talk to Henry again, or if the pore boy will try and talk to her and tell her what really happened, I can only see in the chapter, if Ala will forgive him or hate him.
Anyway that's all from me for now. I will be moving onto the next chapter, you really do have me hooked with all theses cliffhangers, I will say it is driving me insane but it always makes me look forward to the next chapter. I hope you will post again soon and have a great day or night.
Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix!!
Reviewing with a fiery passion!!
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