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Least Romantic: Chapter Nine: Kiss

by Horisun


Ala watched them closely as Tiana lead Henry around the corner, where they were hidden from Alas line of sight.

"We gotta go check on them." Ala said, pacing. "Tiana could be saying anything to him, anything."

"Yeah." Jenny said, watching Jackie. She quickly turned away. "Yeah! We can be secret spies! Follow me!"

Jenny and Ala slinked under tables, and pressed there backs against the walls, until they could hear Tiana and Henry's voices.

"-Love you Tiana." 

Ala started to gasp, but quickly closed her mouth. Despite herself, she peeked around the corner.

Tiana gave Henry a swift kiss on the cheek.

Ala stumbled, and fell flat on her face. She looked up, tears brewing beneath the surface. Henry looked at her, eyes wide. "Wait, Ala!"

Tiana smirked at her, and brushed shoulders with Henry. Ala gagged. She glared at the both of them. "You're disgusting." She said simply, before turning, trying to hide the tears running down her cheeks.


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236 Reviews


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Tue Aug 13, 2019 4:58 pm
Liberty wrote a review...



Hiya Horisun!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously. I'm here to - yeah - give you a review. Let's get started, now shall we?

Alright, so great chapter! Very middle school-ish type, you know? But I guess that's what it was supposed to be like, judging by the chapter's name. ;) Anyways, there were, like, two things I'd like to point out and I'll do it quick.

Ala watched them closely as Tiana lead Henry around the corner, where they were hidden from Alas line of sight.


That bold word needs an apostrophe before the "s".

Jenny and Ala slinked under tables, and pressed there backs against the walls, until they could hear Tiana and Henry's voices.


"there" is actually supposed to be "their". "There" as in "Look over there!" and then "their" is like "It's their toy. Not ours.".

She said simply, before turning, trying to hide the tears running down her cheeks.


This. Broke. My. Fricking. Heart. DX WHYYYYYYYY DOES FATE HAVE TO BE SOOOOO CRUEEEEEL??????? It likes to be and it'll stay like that forever. Whatever. It's totally fine. But I'm sure Ala and Fate will work it out sometime. I can't wait to see what happens next! This was a great chapter and I enjoyed reading this! :smt023

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty




Horisun says...


LOL! XD Thank you for the review!



Liberty says...


Not a problemmm! :)



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Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:19 pm
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shieldmaiden wrote a review...



I've a feeling that Henry was made to say -love you, Tiana! She manipulated him somehow. However, it is possible that he does like her. Little boys can easily be dissuaded by conniving little girls. Look forward to the next chapter. Are we going to see them when they are older? I would really look forward to seeing them all older and how they grow up. Keep writing!
-Shieldmaiden




Horisun says...


Thank you for the review!



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Fri Aug 09, 2019 5:24 pm
Awru wrote a review...



Tiana you little...........I have a lot of things o say for her. But swearing isn't appreciated here. I bet she framed Henry. I bet she told Henry if he did that she would leave Ala and him alone. But ofcourse Henry was too innocent to realize the scheming brats intentions, she knew those two r gonna follow em. One thing for Tiana though she has Dangerous Love.
I think the previous chaps title Friends turned Enemies suits this quite well since now the real drama has begun. Maybe you should merge the two chaps and explain what happened after the punishment Of Ala and Jenny in the form of flashbacks or sth.
Tiana reminds me so much of McKenzie. I am telling you those two and each of their minions would get along fairly well. Have you read Dork Diaries though. Its by Rachael Renee Russell. Kinda like a diary, typical life of a teenage girl and you just can't miss the drama.
Oh!! The Drama!!
Keep Up the Excellent Work :smt023

peace out





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